8 Lamest Weapons in Video Games

We mostly know about the most efficient and coolest weapons in video games. They belong to the arsenal we usually choose. But, what about the lamest pieces of weapon ever seen in video games?
Personally, I could think about 8 all-time favorites, which I’ve listed in this article.


8. Kabuki Hair in Kabuki Quantum Fighter

You heard well. Hero in Kabuki Quantum Fighter used his hair as a main weapon. Idea was pretty original, even cool, but hell… What about the efficiency? Maybe it was greasy and smelly enough to kick some butts, even on distance.
Jokes aside, this game was one of the jewels, and too bad they didn’t made a sequel. But hair?










7. Raphael’s Sais in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (NES)

Every character in TMNT has decent weapon reach except for Raphael, who was carrying these silly little weapons. In real life (with real ninjas) sais might be useful, but in game they made poor Raphael almost useless character.










6. Knife in Resident Evil

Ok, it’s zombie outbreak, and you’re trapped in a mall (favorite place for rendezvous with the living dead). You found a weapon store, but you’re puzzled what to pick: a gun or a knife. I bet you’ll choose a gun, except if you’re fond of close combat. Picking a knife to fight hundreds of brain hungry undeads isn’t the brightest idea. Even if you’re as cool as Jill Valentine.










5. Knuckles in Doom

In the game filled with cornucopia of weapons for efficient hack’n’slash, picking brass knuckles was like picking toothpick to fight on medieval tournament. However, this doesn’t make knuckles lame. Berserk Mode in Doom 2 where you use your punch to mince your enemies into burgers - that was lame.









4. Fireball Gun in Contra

Point of this gun was to shoot little balls of fire that roll in clockwise circles towards your target. Your timing must be perfect, otherwise you miss. Perfect gun for shooting snails.










3. Cerebral Bore Gun in Turok 2

Cerebral Bore fires a drill-like projectile that tracks a victim's brain-waves and burrows deep into their skull, forcibly expelling their brain-matter before exploding. Sounds badass? It is. Extremely overpowered, Cerebral Bore was one of the most efficient weapons in video game history. But imagine yourself in Turok 2 multiplayer, wielding common gun, while you’re opposed to some n00b who carries Cerebral Bore, and who shoots you each time with single hit and then laughs at your headless corpse. Lame, right?










2. Arthur’s Sword and Armor in Ghost ‘n’ Goblins

Ghost ‘n’ Goblins was a game hard enough to cause severe attacks of frustration, even without lame weapon in it. What made it worse is Arthur’s short sword efficient as a butter knife. But, more infamous piece of metal was his armor that was falling off immediately when contact with any object in game has been made. That would leave our hero Arthur to wait for embarrassing death in his red underpants.










1. Klobb in Goldeneye

Klobb is probably the worst weapon that ever appeared in video games. Introduced in 007 Goldeneye 64, it had the worst accuracy ever recorded. Even dual-wielded, Klobb couldn’t hit sh*t (there, I said that). So, players would rather use other pistols or their bare hands, than condemn themselves to this abomination of a gun.












I’m sure you all have your ‘favorite’ weapons from video games you laughed at or that made you break something. Please share them with us in comments.