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Galdaria
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 06 Apr 2004
Posts: 5641
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 Posted: 05/20/05 - 18:11 Post subject: What I Learned on Vacation
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So just got back from vacation. Here is what ive learned.
First off, its been like 5 years and 2 kids since Ive been skiing. I learned that you SHOULD NOT take the tram to the highest point in all of Utah and attempt to ski down on freshly sharpened demo skiis youve never skied on before.
You should NOT stop horozontally and start sliding backwards, loose your balance and fall on your ass causing one ski to come off.
When said ski comes off you should not attempt to put said ski back on while on a VERY steep hill covered with icy snow.
When falling you SHOULD try to stop yourself with your ski boots and ignore the laughter and comments like "OMG LOOK HUMAN SNOW BALL" coming from the ski lift above.
When using boots to stop yourself from falling 800 feet you should bring flavoring so that when you scrape the frozen ice from your forehead and sunglasses you can have a sno cone.
When falling 800 feet down a mountain, stopping yourself is pointless and impossible.
Friction is NOT your cooties friend.
Putting your boots in front of you MAY slow you down but can also spin you like a top.
Since stopping yourself is impossible, TRY to bring your skis and poles WITH YOU to save yourself from having to scream up for help from someone. People do NOT think its cute to have to stop and get your shit.
Do NOT wear foundation and powder when skiing. After the snowcone melts from your face, your white tshirt looks like it had a run in with tammy fay.
After 5 years, your leg muscles are NOT the same as they used to be.
Skiing uses muscles youve long forgotten about.
Even the hot tub and a bottle of wine cant stop the pain of completely fatiguing all your muscles.
Needing help to get off of the bed to pee is not ****.
When going to the pool at a million feet above sea level it would BE f*****g WISE TO USE SUNSCREEN!!!!!!
30 minutes at said pool without sunscreen can turn even an olive skinned girl into a f*****g lobster.
It is NOT amusing when your husband makes his hands into claws and threatens me with butter sauce.
It is NOT amusing when your husband is putting aloe and lanolin on your ass making jokes about LOBSTER TAIL.
It is NOT amusing when your husband asks you if youll scream and make those freaky sounds if he puts you into the hot tub to make "lobster bisque".
Lobster jokes get old really fast.
The gift shop charges $11.00 for aloe.
After suffereing a major sunburn, you get the chills and even the soft bed sheets hurt like a mother f****r.
Massages can make you cry.
Brie tastes really good with walnuts, baby lettuce and raspberry vinegrette.
Nothing beats a juicy side of cooked cow.
Dehydration + fatigue + hot tub + alcohol = One f****d up Galdaria
After my vacation, I feel like I need a Vacation =/.
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Kilzalot
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 21 Oct 2002
Posts: 2080
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Posted: 05/20/05 - 18:16 Post subject:
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pwned.
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Occulis
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 13293
Location: Moral Relativity Central
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Posted: 05/20/05 - 18:18 Post subject:
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Try getting in a hotter hot tub with a lot more hard liquor. I mean a lot. And if it doesn't work, try again. You really need to do this 4-5 times a week, okay.
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Galdaria
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 06 Apr 2004
Posts: 5641
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Posted: 05/20/05 - 18:20 Post subject:
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Thats not very nice. 
And here I thought all this time we were best friends.
That hurts....that really hurts.
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Gethy
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 5599
Location: Tallahassee, FL
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Posted: 05/20/05 - 18:32 Post subject:
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| Occulis wrote: | | Try getting in a hotter hot tub with a lot more hard liquor. I mean a lot. And if it doesn't work, try again. You really need to do this 4-5 times a week, okay. |
I heard GHB goes well with alcohol. She should probably give that a whirl as well!
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wellspoken
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 01 Feb 2003
Posts: 7137
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Posted: 05/20/05 - 18:40 Post subject:
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for sure!
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Nictathan
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 5531
Location: here... where I am... not with you
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Posted: 05/20/05 - 19:09 Post subject:
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Things that common sense have dictated to me over the years
1 - No matter how good you used to be, going to the top of Snowbird on your first trip skiing in 5 years is NOT a good idea. There's a reason those
2 - The sun burns you no matter where you are if it's warm and bright enough... especially when there's snow involved to reflect it.
3 - Dont' buy anything at a ski resort... it's all overpriced by around 200%
See how much pain you could have saved yourself if you had just used common sense?
Oh... and you were a bit away from the highest point in UT... you weren't quite as special as you thought.
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Galdaria
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 06 Apr 2004
Posts: 5641
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Posted: 05/20/05 - 19:23 Post subject:
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| Nictathan wrote: | Things that common sense have dictated to me over the years
1 - No matter how good you used to be, going to the top of Snowbird on your first trip skiing in 5 years is NOT a good idea. There's a reason those
2 - The sun burns you no matter where you are if it's warm and bright enough... especially when there's snow involved to reflect it.
3 - Dont' buy anything at a ski resort... it's all overpriced by around 200%
See how much pain you could have saved yourself if you had just used common sense?
Oh... and you were a bit away from the highest point in UT... you weren't quite as special as you thought. |
The sun wasnt out and I wore sun protection on the slopes. I was at the pool and it was overcast and not sunny at all. I just forget that my ass hasnt seen the sun in awhile and you can burn even if its cloudy as hell.
Didnt want to drive down the canyon and spend an hour to save a few bucks. Wasnt planning on baking my ass to a crisp so didnt bring aloe.
Ive never skiied there before, I usually ski Powder Mountain or Brighton and my dear brother said the tram was easy and had tons of blues. =/
Yea its not the highest point in Utah but it DOES have the largest vertical drops of all the resorts I believe.
My brother snowboards and goes every weekend. In his mind the top of the tram is easy stuff. =/
For the record, realizing your getting older f*****g sucks ass. I used to be invincible on skiis =/ and go all day without being sore.
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Nictathan
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 5531
Location: here... where I am... not with you
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Posted: 05/20/05 - 19:37 Post subject:
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| Galdaria wrote: | | Nictathan wrote: | Things that common sense have dictated to me over the years
1 - No matter how good you used to be, going to the top of Snowbird on your first trip skiing in 5 years is NOT a good idea. There's a reason those
2 - The sun burns you no matter where you are if it's warm and bright enough... especially when there's snow involved to reflect it.
3 - Dont' buy anything at a ski resort... it's all overpriced by around 200%
See how much pain you could have saved yourself if you had just used common sense?
Oh... and you were a bit away from the highest point in UT... you weren't quite as special as you thought. |
The sun wasnt out and I wore sun protection on the slopes. I was at the pool and it was overcast and not sunny at all. I just forget that my ass hasnt seen the sun in awhile and you can burn even if its cloudy as hell.
Didnt want to drive down the canyon and spend an hour to save a few bucks. Wasnt planning on baking my ass to a crisp so didnt bring aloe.
Ive never skiied there before, I usually ski Powder Mountain or Brighton and my dear brother said the tram was easy and had tons of blues. =/
Yea its not the highest point in Utah but it DOES have the largest vertical drops of all the resorts I believe.
My brother snowboards and goes every weekend. In his mind the top of the tram is easy stuff. =/
For the record, realizing your getting older f*****g sucks ass. I used to be invincible on skiis =/ and go all day without being sore. |
So the other thing you learned was don't listen to your brother
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Okami
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 2242
Location: The new board
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Posted: 05/20/05 - 19:38 Post subject:
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wow.
That sounds shockingly similiar to the last time I went skiing.
But I only have one 5yr old.
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Galdaria
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 06 Apr 2004
Posts: 5641
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Posted: 05/20/05 - 19:53 Post subject:
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Oh yea forgot to add this one.
Do NOT pay $11.99 to rent Team America in your room. =/
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Gethy
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 5599
Location: Tallahassee, FL
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Posted: 05/20/05 - 20:04 Post subject:
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| Galdaria wrote: | Oh yea forgot to add this one.
Do NOT pay $11.99 to rent Team America in your room. =/ |
o lol ur so rite!
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Aeain
RealPoor Sensei
Joined: 22 Oct 2002
Posts: 1973
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Posted: 05/20/05 - 21:28 Post subject:
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I went to Snow Basin. It was good fun. Of course I snowboarded which is better than Skiing in my opinion.
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Tamrissa
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 29 Nov 2002
Posts: 7100
Location: at my computer
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Posted: 05/21/05 - 01:26 Post subject:
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know what i learnt while you were on vacation?
that without you around the pathetic little boys make me the wipping girl of the week.
wasnt much fun, im glad youre back!
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Desaitar
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 30 Apr 2003
Posts: 2641
Location: whore island
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Posted: 05/21/05 - 02:03 Post subject:
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lol
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Tamrissa
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 29 Nov 2002
Posts: 7100
Location: at my computer
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Posted: 05/21/05 - 02:09 Post subject:
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seriously. two pages of pms in a matter of hours! it was a holy wtf week on rp for me 4tru! /rude renork
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Desaitar
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 30 Apr 2003
Posts: 2641
Location: whore island
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Posted: 05/21/05 - 02:15 Post subject:
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| Tamrissa wrote: | | seriously. two pages of pms in a matter of hours! it was a holy wtf week on rp for me 4tru! /rude renork |
i only have like 8 pages of PM's total. f**k you
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Tamrissa
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 29 Nov 2002
Posts: 7100
Location: at my computer
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Posted: 05/21/05 - 02:23 Post subject:
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get renork to post a pic of you, youll become to hate the pm system real quick.
oh plus a couple days before hand post something like youre against marriage and arent religious. these guys had a field day with that this week, even though this is info ive mentioned about myself before.
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Desaitar
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 30 Apr 2003
Posts: 2641
Location: whore island
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Posted: 05/21/05 - 02:26 Post subject:
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that pic wasnt too bad btw
i think the PM's come cuz u have boobs =p
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Galdaria
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 06 Apr 2004
Posts: 5641
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Posted: 05/21/05 - 02:43 Post subject:
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| Tamrissa wrote: | know what i learnt while you were on vacation?
that without you around the pathetic little boys make me the wipping girl of the week.
wasnt much fun, im glad youre back! |
ROFL glad you got a taste of my private hell on RP. =) Then again, I like being whipped so its all good.
Spank away little boys.
For the record, I AM religious and DO believe in marriage. =)
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Gethy
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 5599
Location: Tallahassee, FL
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Posted: 05/21/05 - 06:00 Post subject:
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| Desaitar wrote: | that pic wasnt too bad btw
i think the PM's come cuz u have boobs =p |
Sometimes I try to be funny. Sometimes I post gibberish. But, rest assured, no matter what I spew out, it'll never match anything Isriam or you write.
=p =p =p =p =p =p
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Fattguyy
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 09 Sep 2003
Posts: 9911
Location: Shreveport, Louisiana
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Posted: 05/21/05 - 06:08 Post subject:
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I don't believe in marriage myself.
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Gethy
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 5599
Location: Tallahassee, FL
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Posted: 05/21/05 - 06:55 Post subject:
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I don't believe in scrotbeards, goatscrotface.
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