Well, it's everyone's turn to laugh at me

I'm officially single now, just ended an 8.5 year relationship.

Take a potshot at me if you want to, I don't *quite* feel s****y enough about my life atm, negativity is like money, you can never have too much of it.

-Nah-

Sorry man, that sucks, 8 years is a long time.

It always turns around though, and you'll get to do all those new relationship things again

Last edited by sinrakin on 08/04/04 - 13:43; edited 1 time in total

Dude, now you are free to go to the San Francisco Jacks. No poppers allowed tho.

Seriously tho, what caused it?

kemble wrote:

Dude, now you are free to go to the San Francisco Jacks. No poppers allowed tho. Seriously tho, what caused it?

You ready for this?

Family.

I want one, he doesn't. It's about as simple as it can be but there's absolutely no room to compromise on it.

-Nah-

*hugs*

Nahualli wrote:

kemble wrote: Dude, now you are free to go to the San Francisco Jacks. No poppers allowed tho. Seriously tho, what caused it? You ready for this? Family. I want one, he doesn't. It's about as simple as it can be but there's absolutely no room to compromise on it. -Jesus!-

That sucks. People tend to forget it's an important issue to talk about while you're still in your 20's. Many of my friends who are in a commited relationship say it's not an issue "right now". At one point it will though, and like you said, there's no room to compromise. It's a life choice =(

Frostkiss wrote:

Nahualli wrote: kemble wrote: Dude, now you are free to go to the San Francisco Jacks. No poppers allowed tho. Seriously tho, what caused it? You ready for this? Family. I want one, he doesn't. It's about as simple as it can be but there's absolutely no room to compromise on it. -Jesus!- That sucks. People tend to forget it's an important issue to talk about while you're still in your 20's. Many of my friends who are in a commited relationship say it's not an issue "right now". At one point it will though, and like you said, there's no room to compromise. It's a life choice =(

That's one of the reasons my ex-wife and I split up. Not the only one, but maybe the big one. I remember when we were just getting to know each other, she asked if I wanted kids, and I said something like I could go either way, if it happened it happened, and if it didn't it didn't. But realistically, deep down I wanted a family, just not at that time. She really didn't, and thought I was saying it would be ok not to have one. My bad for not thinking about the question more deeply.

Tough decision.

I would try and say something comforting but somehow those things always sound inadequate. If you feel like talking sometime though, you can always come distract me from my writings

Chin up hon.

You know.. this is one of those things that p****d me off.... we actually broke up a couple of weeks ago, on the eve of buying this house. Well he's moving to this new house but to him the house was not contingent on a family or anything, it was just a house. Well if Im gonna buy a house Ill be damned if I don't plan on eventually filling it with kids. Well he didnt see it this way but he compares it to being a "cat person", he claims he doesn't like cats but he "could get used to them"

Well.. shit last I checked kids .. especially for a gay couple, aren't exactly something that "just happens".. I can't wait for him to warm up to the idea or get used to it, it doesn't work that way.

He blames me for terminating the relationship and he blames me for "not understanding him" whatever that means. I accept that responsibility.

Anytime the subject of kids came up, he would never point out ANYTHING but the negative aspects of it. The costs, the time, the sacrifices, the responsibility. Then he would smugly add in the fact that he is too selfish to devote himself to anyone else but himself and his partner.

It was basically a choice, for me to try and be happy on my own or to resign to never feeling happy, never fulfilling the only thing that would make me feel complete as a person.

-Nah-

Last edited by Nahualli on 08/04/04 - 14:03; edited 1 time in total

Doesn't look like understanding is the problem. You seem to understand quite well that he doesn't want a family and you do.
Opposing life goals are a bit hard to reconcile when you're supposed to be living together.

Cel's pretty much nailed it on the head there N-a-h...

Sucks that it happened though man, really f*****g hurts to dedicate yourself to one person and then have it all change like that.

You where<---word usage mistake for all you dweebs (correct word is were)with a man.

You do know that is wrong, don't you?

edit: some think its a spelling mistake, that is debatable.

Last edited by Guest on 08/04/04 - 14:27; edited 1 time in total

Kbarr wrote:

You where with a man. You do know that is wrong, don't you?

apparently one wants kids and the other one doesnt.

Nahualli wrote:

You know.. this is one of those things that p****d me off.... we actually broke up a couple of weeks ago, on the eve of buying this house. Well he's moving to this new house but to him the house was not contingent on a family or anything, it was just a house. Well if Im gonna buy a house Ill be damned if I don't plan on eventually filling it with kids. Well he didnt see it this way but he compares it to being a "cat person", he claims he doesn't like cats but he "could get used to them" Well.. shit last I checked kids .. especially for a gay couple, aren't exactly something that "just happens".. I can't wait for him to warm up to the idea or get used to it, it doesn't work that way. He blames me for terminating the relationship and he blames me for "not understanding him" whatever that means. I accept that responsibility. Anytime the subject of kids came up, he would never point out ANYTHING but the negative aspects of it. The costs, the time, the sacrifices, the responsibility. Then he would smugly add in the fact that he is too selfish to devote himself to anyone else but himself and his partner. It was basically a choice, for me to try and be happy on my own or to resign to never feeling happy, never fulfilling the only thing that would make me feel complete as a person. -Jesus!-

Sounds like he liked being with you, but the prospect of making a firm commitment (house, kids, etc.) scared him. It is a scary idea, but hey.

Kbarr wrote:

You where with a man. You do know that is wrong, don't you?

also:

there's a "h" in where....

you do know that is wrong, don't you?

Kbarr wrote:

You where with a man. You do know that is wrong, don't you?

not even close to how wrong your spelling is sgt. retardo

themy wrote:

Kbarr wrote: You where with a man. You do know that is wrong, don't you? not even close to how wrong your spelling is sgt. retardo

LOL sgt retardo

Kbarr wrote:

You where with a man. You do know that is wrong, don't you?

No, sorry I don't. I know you don't agree with it but I don't think it's wrong.

-Nah-

atarom wrote:

themy wrote: Kbarr wrote: You where with a man. You do know that is wrong, don't you? not even close to how wrong your spelling is sgt. retardo LOL sgt retardo

Wow, I made a spelling mistake.

And you found it, forcing you to comment.

What is worse?

I'm sorry Nahoo, I don't really know what to say, but it always sucks when a long term relationship ends, unless the relationship involved abuse anyways.