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Occulis
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 13293
Location: Moral Relativity Central
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 Posted: 04/07/06 - 15:08 Post subject: Weird experience in the elevator
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I'm in the elevator going back down to my floor. It stops and the doors open. Two ridiculously hot, young brunette females enter the elevator. One is about 5'10", the other about 5'8". They're both wearing white wife-beaters, some necklaces, and jeans. I'd put them at about age 18 or higher. They're giggling and playing with each others hair.
"Free food on 18, deli sandwiches and such," I say. I probably would have followed them back upstairs to see if they were going to make out, had the deli bit interested them. I certainly don't care if strangers eat or not.
They giggle. The shorter one keeps eye contact with me while the taller one looks into her eyes. The taller one says, "So, we're on the 4th floor right?" It looks like she's going to lean in for a kiss, they're so close. They keep playing with each others hair: stroking it, rubbing each others shoulders, etc. They both look at me and kind of giggle, then go back to playing with each other.
"Yeah, we're on the fourth floor," the shorter one says.
The doors open to my floor and I shoot out of there. Why didn't stuff like that happen when I was single?
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motherface
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 12 Mar 2003
Posts: 3407
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Posted: 04/07/06 - 15:22 Post subject:
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That story versus the lingering elevator fart...
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Occulis
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 13293
Location: Moral Relativity Central
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Posted: 04/07/06 - 15:23 Post subject:
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| motherface wrote: | | That story versus the lingering elevator fart... |
haha that would have been great
"Hey girls." *Fraamp*!
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merdocc
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 2038
Location: Pasadena Ca
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Posted: 04/07/06 - 15:35 Post subject:
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obiously the correct thing to do in that situation would be to offer to follow them back to their room and videotape them. It's not cheating unless you stick something in a hole!
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motherface
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 12 Mar 2003
Posts: 3407
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Posted: 04/07/06 - 15:36 Post subject:
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Elevator + fart = comedy gold.
Also Jim Norton's elevator stories were good, "Yeah we were on the elevator and this hot chick walks in and I turn to Opie and go 'Yeah, it's herpes, sorry about your hole.'"
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Leilu
Sir Postalot
Joined: 12 Nov 2002
Posts: 1164
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Posted: 04/07/06 - 15:37 Post subject:
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| motherface wrote: | | That story versus the lingering elevator fart... |
So my friend was a courier while we were in college and he tried the lingering elevator fart. Except he crapped his pants. And had on shorts. And a little terd rolled out onto the ground. And there were other people in the elevator. I think I might have peed my pants a little when he told me.
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motherface
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 12 Mar 2003
Posts: 3407
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Posted: 04/07/06 - 16:02 Post subject:
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| Leilu wrote: | | motherface wrote: | | That story versus the lingering elevator fart... |
So my friend was a courier while we were in college and he tried the lingering elevator fart. Except he crapped his pants. And had on shorts. And a little terd rolled out onto the ground. And there were other people in the elevator. I think I might have peed my pants a little when he told me. |
That is awesome.
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Spiritz
RealPoor Sensei
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 1969
Location: Huntington Beach, CA
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Posted: 04/07/06 - 16:05 Post subject:
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| Leilu wrote: | | motherface wrote: | | That story versus the lingering elevator fart... |
So my friend was a courier while we were in college and he tried the lingering elevator fart. Except he crapped his pants. And had on shorts. And a little terd rolled out onto the ground. And there were other people in the elevator. I think I might have peed my pants a little when he told me. |
That's so disturbing and yet so funny all at the same time.
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kbarr
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 05 Oct 2004
Posts: 11239
Location: New York, now go fuck off...
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Posted: 04/07/06 - 16:57 Post subject:
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I have dragged my fair share of dead idiots out of elevators.
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Aluaeia
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 06 Jun 2003
Posts: 5670
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Posted: 04/07/06 - 16:58 Post subject:
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I wish elevators ate anyone with IQ under 100 that got on.
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khrath
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 8750
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Posted: 04/07/06 - 17:01 Post subject:
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you lost yer balls =(
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Desflurane
Luke Warm
Joined: 27 Mar 2003
Posts: 299
Location: St Louis
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Posted: 04/07/06 - 17:01 Post subject:
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how much is a fair share of dead elevator idiots?
1?
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Occulis
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 13293
Location: Moral Relativity Central
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Posted: 04/07/06 - 17:07 Post subject:
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| Desflurane wrote: | how much is a fair share of dead elevator idiots?
1? |
Let's say 1% of the world population was composed of idiots who died in elevators. This means 99% of the rest of the world is responsible for tugging those people out.
I don't know anyone who has tugged a corpse from an elevator, so maybe the 'fair share' is 1/100000th of a human. In other words, 1 is far too high a number.
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Aluaeia
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 06 Jun 2003
Posts: 5670
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Posted: 04/07/06 - 17:16 Post subject:
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Dear Occulis.
1/6600000000 = .00000000151515_%
1% of 6600000000 = 66000000
1% != .00000000151515%
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Thenger
Can't Stop Posting
Joined: 17 Oct 2002
Posts: 715
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Posted: 04/07/06 - 17:31 Post subject:
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| Leilu wrote: | | motherface wrote: | | That story versus the lingering elevator fart... |
So my friend was a courier while we were in college and he tried the lingering elevator fart. Except he crapped his pants. And had on shorts. And a little terd rolled out onto the ground. And there were other people in the elevator. I think I might have peed my pants a little when he told me. |
That is pure gold.. 
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Occulis
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 13293
Location: Moral Relativity Central
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Posted: 04/07/06 - 17:34 Post subject:
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| Aluaeia wrote: | Dear Occulis.
1/6600000000 = .00000000151515_%
1% of 6600000000 = 66000000
1% != .00000000151515% |
I guess in my boredom I let my forehead rest on the keypad a little too long.
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Lumberg
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 17 Nov 2002
Posts: 4404
Location: i'm in ur base, i'm killin ur dudes
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Posted: 04/07/06 - 17:42 Post subject:
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I liked this story. Something like this happened to me once.
I was at the beach with two of my friends. I'd say I was about 22. We were in this hotel in Vegas and my three friends were like lets hit the discos. We get to the restaurant and there are these two hot black chicks who are probably just barely 18. Anyway, we start dancing when the chickks come over to talk to us. Now I usaually dig black chicks on a night like this but these were the finest white girls ever! So we took them back to my uncles condo we were staying in and I f****d all four of them then went out the next morning to my fav restaurant in Boston, Mama Kins.
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kbarr
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 05 Oct 2004
Posts: 11239
Location: New York, now go fuck off...
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Posted: 04/07/06 - 17:57 Post subject:
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| Desflurane wrote: | how much is a fair share of dead elevator idiots?
1? |
More than 1, less than 10. Others i never touched, just snapped a picture. Cause of death? You name it:)
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Occulis
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 13293
Location: Moral Relativity Central
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Posted: 04/07/06 - 18:15 Post subject:
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What were some interesting causes of death?
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kbarr
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 05 Oct 2004
Posts: 11239
Location: New York, now go fuck off...
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Posted: 04/07/06 - 18:27 Post subject:
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| Occulis wrote: | | What were some interesting causes of death? |
I always thought it was funny when they would open the door in any random project and step off into blackness. Splat. The rest were robberies for the most part. Shot dead, stabbed, beaten, in the elevator, or ending up trying to get away in the elevator. Some times kids would surf the elevator. Splat.
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Plat4PoP
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 12 Oct 2002
Posts: 14376
Location: USA
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Posted: 04/07/06 - 18:33 Post subject:
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| kbarr wrote: | | Occulis wrote: | | What were some interesting causes of death? |
I always thought it was funny when they would open the door in any random project and step off into blackness. Splat. The rest were robberies for the most part. Shot dead, stabbed, beaten, in the elevator, or ending up trying to get away in the elevator. Some times kids would surf the elevator. Splat. |
A buddy of mine in construction saw a guy go splat once, well he saw the guy fall but not splat... guy was on a cell phone and didnt notice where to walk off the ele even though there were tons of signs and boards.
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Lumberg
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 17 Nov 2002
Posts: 4404
Location: i'm in ur base, i'm killin ur dudes
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Posted: 04/07/06 - 18:39 Post subject:
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The uses of the word, 'splat' in that explaination were surprisingly effective in the visualization.
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Occulis
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 13293
Location: Moral Relativity Central
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Posted: 04/07/06 - 19:36 Post subject:
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| Plat4PoP wrote: | | kbarr wrote: | | Occulis wrote: | | What were some interesting causes of death? |
I always thought it was funny when they would open the door in any random project and step off into blackness. Splat. The rest were robberies for the most part. Shot dead, stabbed, beaten, in the elevator, or ending up trying to get away in the elevator. Some times kids would surf the elevator. Splat. |
A buddy of mine in construction saw a guy go splat once, well he saw the guy fall but not splat... guy was on a cell phone and didnt notice where to walk off the ele even though there were tons of signs and boards. |
Probably a salesman.
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Mogling
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 29 Dec 2002
Posts: 2451
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Posted: 04/08/06 - 00:54 Post subject:
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| Lumberg wrote: | I liked this story. Something like this happened to me once.
I was at the beach with two of my friends. I'd say I was about 22. We were in this hotel in Vegas and my three friends were like lets hit the discos. We get to the restaurant and there are these two hot black chicks who are probably just barely 18. Anyway, we start dancing when the chickks come over to talk to us. Now I usaually dig black chicks on a night like this but these were the finest white girls ever! So we took them back to my uncles condo we were staying in and I f****d all four of them then went out the next morning to my fav restaurant in Boston, Mama Kins. |
The beach or vegas what was it?
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Frehya
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 2398
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Posted: 04/08/06 - 01:56 Post subject:
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| Mogling wrote: | | Lumberg wrote: | I liked this story. Something like this happened to me once.
I was at the beach with two of my friends. I'd say I was about 22. We were in this hotel in Vegas and my three friends were like lets hit the discos. We get to the restaurant and there are these two hot black chicks who are probably just barely 18. Anyway, we start dancing when the chickks come over to talk to us. Now I usaually dig black chicks on a night like this but these were the finest white girls ever! So we took them back to my uncles condo we were staying in and I f****d all four of them then went out the next morning to my fav restaurant in Boston, Mama Kins. |
The beach or vegas what was it? |
It was the Vegas hotel near a beach in Boston and he had a dream about doing 4 chicks. Keep up, would ya.
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Lumberg
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 17 Nov 2002
Posts: 4404
Location: i'm in ur base, i'm killin ur dudes
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Posted: 04/08/06 - 09:58 Post subject:
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Some people are just slow
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Mogling
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 29 Dec 2002
Posts: 2451
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Posted: 04/08/06 - 12:38 Post subject:
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| Frehya wrote: | | Mogling wrote: | | Lumberg wrote: | I liked this story. Something like this happened to me once.
I was at the beach with two of my friends. I'd say I was about 22. We were in this hotel in Vegas and my three friends were like lets hit the discos. We get to the restaurant and there are these two hot black chicks who are probably just barely 18. Anyway, we start dancing when the chickks come over to talk to us. Now I usaually dig black chicks on a night like this but these were the finest white girls ever! So we took them back to my uncles condo we were staying in and I f****d all four of them then went out the next morning to my fav restaurant in Boston, Mama Kins. |
The beach or vegas what was it? |
It was the Vegas hotel near a beach in Boston and he had a dream about doing 4 chicks. Keep up, would ya. |
No No it must be true! His uncle owns the hotell in los boston right? so it was his condo/hotell that they were in I know it!.
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