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Finigan
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 3817
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 Posted: 08/09/04 - 06:29 Post subject: Strange hot chick walks into my apartment tonight.. 2 times
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Ok so I get home from work at like 11, me and my friend Chuck are hanging out watching a movie and there is a knock on the porch door (the apartment is on ground level and the porch faces the parking lot) in walks this hot blonde chick whos like 30 or somethin in a schoolgirl uniform thingy, me and Chuck are like wtfs, she trys telling us this weird ass story about how her old b/f from AA is like in the apartment next to us or something and she is scared of his roomate and asks us to go over there and try to get him to come out to talk to her.
So me and Chuck go in the hall and are like s***w that were not getting in the middle of this and her story sounded bogus so we tell her no one was there and she is like ok thx for help bye and leaves. This was at like midnight.
So 4am rolls around Chuck left a while ago and my bro is in a medical study thingy for the weekend so what does anyone do at 4am but get their j**k on. So im sitting in my room pounding my pud and I THINK I hear the porch door open (I found out later Chuck didn't lock it) and I wait a sec and hear nothing so I figure its not my porch door and I commence whacking it to lesbians when I hear a fricking KNOCK on my WIDE OPEN DOOR and the chick is standing there I don't think she saw me jerking it cuz my computer is in the way so im like one second I gotta get dressed and I walk out into the hall.
She is like completely drunk now and reeks of booze and is trying to tell me so story about her life or some shit and keeps rambling on and on till like 5:30 and then shes like oh shit I gotta go to work cuz she is a nurse or something and she gives me a kiss on my forehead (wtf?) and leaves and says she will stop by later.
I have no f*****g clue what her name is or if she actually saw me jerkin it.
Im going to bed now, I remembered to lock the porch door this time so she doesn't kill me in my sleep or steal my vcr.
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atarom
Dalai Lama of RealPoor
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 16398
Location: 375th st. Y
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Posted: 08/09/04 - 06:31 Post subject:
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and you didnt boink her?
wtf?
i think you like guys,
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Finigan
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 3817
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Posted: 08/09/04 - 06:36 Post subject:
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| fagarom wrote: | and you didnt boink her?
wtf?
i think you like guys, |
She was like 30.. she was pretty hot, but she seemed kinda crazy she might try to cut my wang off or something.
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atarom
Dalai Lama of RealPoor
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 16398
Location: 375th st. Y
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Posted: 08/09/04 - 06:39 Post subject:
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haha his name is chuck
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Finigan
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 3817
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Posted: 08/09/04 - 06:40 Post subject:
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| fagarom wrote: | | haha his name is chuck |
I call him Duke Chuckenheimer the Third of Chuckoslovakia
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NickPSH
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 5680
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Posted: 08/09/04 - 06:41 Post subject:
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Sure, he could've banged her.. but the repercussions...
3 days later
"You have 15 messages"
"Where are you?"
"Why aren't you calling me?"
"Hello, this is police officer David Winslow, we found an intoxicated woman ravaging through your front yard screaming at people, she says you're her husband."
"HELP ME I'M IN JAILYOU a*****e I LET YOU f**k ME IN THE ASS"
"What about the childre.. yes the children I'll.. fugnndsf"
"I swear I won't hit you again, or steal your VCR"
*seven more messages of screaming/crying*
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Kilzalot
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 21 Oct 2002
Posts: 2080
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Posted: 08/09/04 - 06:45 Post subject:
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Tell that crazy b***h to hit the road!
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Vengar_OO
Sir Postalot
Joined: 30 Nov 2002
Posts: 1029
Location: Mayport, FL
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Posted: 08/09/04 - 07:30 Post subject: -==-
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You could make a sitcom, and she could be the wacky neighbor.
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Kilzalot
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 21 Oct 2002
Posts: 2080
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Posted: 08/09/04 - 07:34 Post subject:
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More like whcked out neighbor.
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Vengar_OO
Sir Postalot
Joined: 30 Nov 2002
Posts: 1029
Location: Mayport, FL
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Posted: 08/09/04 - 07:42 Post subject: -==-
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It's probably best you didn't hit it, last time a strange chick walked into my apartment, she pulled one of these out of her vagina.
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goatface
Sir Postalot
Joined: 12 Oct 2002
Posts: 1354
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Posted: 08/09/04 - 10:26 Post subject:
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back in the day, when i live in a college town, lived in one of those
big townhouse complexes.
crime wasn't that bad there, plus we had 5 people living there plus friends etc
so we never locked the door, unless we were out.
we had a lot of people sober and drunk walk in.
funniest was 2 chicks that came in, and yelled "i have to pee" and bolted to our bathroom. there was 7 of us watching tv, just staring at the other chick, who just smiled and waved and ran to the bathroom too.
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atarom
Dalai Lama of RealPoor
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 16398
Location: 375th st. Y
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Posted: 08/09/04 - 12:45 Post subject:
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what is that thing?
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Frax
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 8489
Location: Fuck yoiu fucking fuckers
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Posted: 08/09/04 - 12:51 Post subject:
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| fagarom wrote: | | what is that thing? |
haven't you seen that movie Dreamcatcher?
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Nictathan
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 5531
Location: here... where I am... not with you
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FoShizzo
RealPoor Sensei
Joined: 18 Jan 2003
Posts: 1853
Location: Oly, Washington
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Posted: 08/09/04 - 13:29 Post subject:
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man she totaly wanted you, u shoulda tap'd it when u had the chance
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Herbgotti
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 14 Oct 2002
Posts: 2110
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Posted: 08/09/04 - 13:41 Post subject:
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grow some hair on your balls first and later worry about having **** with women.
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Plat4PoP
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 12 Oct 2002
Posts: 14376
Location: USA
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Posted: 08/09/04 - 14:52 Post subject: Re: Strange hot chick walks into my apartment tonight.. 2 ti
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| Finigan wrote: |
Im going to bed now, I remembered to lock the porch door this time so she doesn't kill me in my sleep or steal my vcr. |
Not even stupid criminals steal VCR's anymore.
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Bait Masterson
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 3842
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Posted: 08/09/04 - 14:56 Post subject: Re: Strange hot chick walks into my apartment tonight.. 2 ti
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| Finigan wrote: | Ok so I get home from work at like 11, me and my friend Chuck are hanging out watching a movie and there is a knock on the porch door (the apartment is on ground level and the porch faces the parking lot) in walks this hot blonde chick whos like 30 or somethin in a schoolgirl uniform thingy, me and Chuck are like wtfs, she trys telling us this weird ass story about how her old b/f from AA is like in the apartment next to us or something and she is scared of his roomate and asks us to go over there and try to get him to come out to talk to her.
So me and Chuck go in the hall and are like s***w that were not getting in the middle of this and her story sounded bogus so we tell her no one was there and she is like ok thx for help bye and leaves. This was at like midnight.
So 4am rolls around Chuck left a while ago and my bro is in a medical study thingy for the weekend so what does anyone do at 4am but get their j**k on. So im sitting in my room pounding my pud and I THINK I hear the porch door open (I found out later Chuck didn't lock it) and I wait a sec and hear nothing so I figure its not my porch door and I commence whacking it to lesbians when I hear a fricking KNOCK on my WIDE OPEN DOOR and the chick is standing there I don't think she saw me jerking it cuz my computer is in the way so im like one second I gotta get dressed and I walk out into the hall.
She is like completely drunk now and reeks of booze and is trying to tell me so story about her life or some shit and keeps rambling on and on till like 5:30 and then shes like oh shit I gotta go to work cuz she is a nurse or something and she gives me a kiss on my forehead (wtf?) and leaves and says she will stop by later.
I have no f*****g clue what her name is or if she actually saw me jerkin it.
Im going to bed now, I remembered to lock the porch door this time so she doesn't kill me in my sleep or steal my vcr. |
You missed a golden opportunity that will never come again
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FoShizzo
RealPoor Sensei
Joined: 18 Jan 2003
Posts: 1853
Location: Oly, Washington
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Posted: 08/09/04 - 14:56 Post subject:
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those worm thingys look alot like Pile worms i use to use when i went sturgen fishing back in cali when i was younger scept the ones we used were more reddish brown
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Bait Masterson
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 3842
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Posted: 08/09/04 - 15:04 Post subject:
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Pile worms are some freaky shit, we used to use as bait also and man those worms creeped me out.
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FoShizzo
RealPoor Sensei
Joined: 18 Jan 2003
Posts: 1853
Location: Oly, Washington
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Posted: 08/09/04 - 15:10 Post subject:
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yah , i would always cut off there little pinchers becuse i was always scared of them
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Luturb
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 4043
Location: Livermore, California
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Posted: 08/09/04 - 16:27 Post subject: Re: Strange hot chick walks into my apartment tonight.. 2 ti
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| Plat4PoP wrote: | | Finigan wrote: |
Im going to bed now, I remembered to lock the porch door this time so she doesn't kill me in my sleep or steal my vcr. |
Not even stupid criminals steal VCR's anymore. |
Hehe yea, a used vcr is probably worth about $5 max these days. Why steal one when you could just find one in a dumpster!
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Finigan
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 3817
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Posted: 08/09/04 - 21:20 Post subject: Re: Strange hot chick walks into my apartment tonight.. 2 ti
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| Bait Masterson wrote: |
You missed a golden opportunity that will never come again |
STD's are a golden opportunity?
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merdocc
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 2038
Location: Pasadena Ca
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Posted: 08/09/04 - 21:32 Post subject:
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Wow this thread should be called hey guys am I gay? and every post should be Yes.
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Nictathan
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 5531
Location: here... where I am... not with you
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Posted: 08/09/04 - 21:34 Post subject:
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| merdocc wrote: | | ...hey guys am I gay?... Yes. |
In the spirit of movie studios hyping their movies by cutting parts of a review up to make it sound good I present the above.
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FoShizzo
RealPoor Sensei
Joined: 18 Jan 2003
Posts: 1853
Location: Oly, Washington
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Posted: 08/09/04 - 21:45 Post subject:
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ownd
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Spitulski
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 23 Nov 2002
Posts: 4345
Location: Washington
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Posted: 08/10/04 - 04:07 Post subject:
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| Tizitchy Tinkergnome wrote: | Sure, he could've banged her.. but the repercussions...
3 days later
"You have 15 messages"
"Where are you?"
"Why aren't you calling me?"
"Hello, this is police officer David Winslow, we found an intoxicated woman ravaging through your front yard screaming at people, she says you're her husband."
"HELP ME I'M IN JAILYOU a*****e I LET YOU f**k ME IN THE ASS"
"What about the childre.. yes the children I'll.. fugnndsf"
"I swear I won't hit you again, or steal your VCR"
*seven more messages of screaming/crying* |
Great post Tiz, comedy gold.
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Eindar
Can't Stop Posting
Joined: 02 Nov 2002
Posts: 580
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Posted: 08/10/04 - 18:09 Post subject:
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| Tizitchy Tinkergnome wrote: | Sure, he could've banged her.. but the repercussions...
3 days later
"You have 15 messages"
"Where are you?"
"Why aren't you calling me?"
"Hello, this is police officer David Winslow, we found an intoxicated woman ravaging through your front yard screaming at people, she says you're her husband."
"HELP ME I'M IN JAILYOU a*****e I LET YOU f**k ME IN THE ASS"
"What about the childre.. yes the children I'll.. fugnndsf"
"I swear I won't hit you again, or steal your VCR"
*seven more messages of screaming/crying* |
Only women worry about other crazy women, especially if you live in an apartment. It's not like you're going to be living there forever. f**k her until you're tired of her, don't give her your phone number or email address, and when you're done with her, tell her bye. If she starts bothering you in your apartment, call the cops or kick her ass, or both. In public only call the cops, because she's not trespassing. AFter about the 3rd arrest/ass kicking, she'll figure out that it wasn't meant to be, and move on to the next guy.
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smallgreenguy
Luke Warm
Joined: 03 May 2003
Posts: 225
Location: Scott Peterson's Town
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Posted: 08/11/04 - 00:35 Post subject:
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What movie were you watching?
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Renork
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 23 Jun 2003
Posts: 6283
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Posted: 08/11/04 - 00:37 Post subject:
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We need an update at this point...She ever come back?
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