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Occulis
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 13293
Location: Moral Relativity Central
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 Posted: 01/11/05 - 13:56 Post subject: Share your humorous stories of idiots in MMO's
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I have a friend. Let's call him Dave. Dave sometimes logs onto my 2nd account and plays. Dave is a very smart, dedicated man in his personal life. He has a good job and a loving wife. Dave is loved and respected by many people. Yet... in online games, Dave sucks.
Dave is level 8. He plays a druid. Dave runs straight for three level 9
creatures. Dave is killed quickly.
"Doh, haha, damn it. They got me again," he tells me in group chat.
"Okay. Wait on me this time, I can probably help out." I tell him. I'm only level 11 but, you know, I could help out.
Dave resurrects at the spirit healer and runs back to fight creatures while under the effects of rez illness.
"What the... dammit! f**k!"
I'm watching his health meter. Poor Dave.
A few minutes later, I see Dave on the mini-map. He's collecting items from low level (4 and 5) creatures. Surely he's safe. The highest level creature in his area is 7, and there's only 1or 2 of those.
Health.. dropping. Dave dies again.
"What got you?"
"Everything! God damn!"
A few minutes later I ask what weapon he's using. It's his level 1 weapon. It does 1.0DPS, myabe less.
"Why don't you buy a new one? They're only a few silver at this level."
"I know, I'm saving up."
I inspect him. He's mostly naked.
He runs off before I can see 10 items. He runs straight off the World Tree. To those of you who haven't played night elves, this means he fell off a very obvious cliff a long, long way.
Dave is a professional newbie and will never get any better, no matter what level he is.
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Vekril
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 15 Oct 2002
Posts: 2525
Location: Jersey
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Posted: 01/11/05 - 14:12 Post subject:
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is Dave having fun?
that is all that matters in online GAMING -- isn't it?
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Occulis
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 13293
Location: Moral Relativity Central
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Posted: 01/11/05 - 14:15 Post subject:
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Most people have fun at things they're good at. I guess that's why you had so much fun getting 800AA on your 2nd EQ wizard!
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Dyers
Sir Postalot
Joined: 26 Oct 2002
Posts: 1269
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Posted: 01/11/05 - 14:16 Post subject:
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and, let me add, you got better at playing online games eventually.....right Occu?
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Syke
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 12 Oct 2002
Posts: 2976
Location: Huntington Beach, CA
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Posted: 01/11/05 - 14:55 Post subject:
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Yea but who is ever really THAT bad...I mean, I knew what to do immediately when playing EQ and that wasn't nearly as noob friendly as WoW is..
I think you just need to sit him down and teach him a few rules to follow to make the most out of the game.. hell be fine!
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Occulis
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 13293
Location: Moral Relativity Central
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Posted: 01/11/05 - 15:05 Post subject:
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Guys, "Dave" has been playing MMO's for about 3 years. He played a few characters (bard, SK, druid) in EQ1. I'm not making any of that up. :\
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Cellen
Luke Warm
Joined: 14 Oct 2003
Posts: 234
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Posted: 01/11/05 - 15:16 Post subject:
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I think the opposite is true also. Some people are just good at games, and others just don't "get" it. I play with someone who was good at every class in EQ and is now is good at every class in WoW. A lot of it really seems to amount to common sense for people who "get" games. I mean, duh, let the tank have aggro, keep the mob off the priest, if you're a priest who's getting aggro, fade it off; if you're fighting a mob that flees judge it with Justice, if you're grouped with a druid and get a beast/dragon add, let them mez it; if you're soloing try for single mobs and don't charge into the cave full of ogres. All of this is "common sense" to people who are "good" at games (at least MMOs) but to some it's just a mystery.
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Occulis
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 13293
Location: Moral Relativity Central
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Posted: 01/11/05 - 15:53 Post subject:
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BORING
I want posts of mystery! Intrigue! Thieving "female" night elf clerics! 500 alliance working in unison to kill the only Horde player online at that time!
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Cellen
Luke Warm
Joined: 14 Oct 2003
Posts: 234
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Posted: 01/11/05 - 16:00 Post subject:
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f**k u
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Occulis
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 13293
Location: Moral Relativity Central
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Posted: 01/11/05 - 16:07 Post subject:
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anomalee
Luke Warm
Joined: 27 Jan 2003
Posts: 227
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Posted: 01/11/05 - 16:44 Post subject:
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I logged into Cellen's account and stole his Mageweave. I'm a Night Elf druid though, so I guess that doesn't count 
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atarom
Dalai Lama of RealPoor
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 16395
Location: 375th st. Y
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Posted: 01/11/05 - 20:59 Post subject:
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Dave is my scorpion's name
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Rennol
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 3741
Location: Charleston, IL
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Posted: 01/12/05 - 00:26 Post subject:
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Maybe Dave likes to play when he's been hittin' the reefer.
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Gethy
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 5595
Location: Tallahassee, FL
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Posted: 01/12/05 - 00:38 Post subject:
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I have this friend, "Snow", and she's level 50 or so and left me in the dust.
And Hitachi actually levelled me. Life's over.
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Paco
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 13 Oct 2002
Posts: 12939
Location: Jacksonville, FL
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Posted: 01/12/05 - 00:52 Post subject:
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That was a funny story, "Dave."
Thanks!
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Occulis
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 13293
Location: Moral Relativity Central
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Posted: 01/12/05 - 11:19 Post subject:
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rofflechopstix
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Syke
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 12 Oct 2002
Posts: 2976
Location: Huntington Beach, CA
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Posted: 01/12/05 - 13:56 Post subject:
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Ok I have one, but it's not as spectacular as Dave..
My cousin (who is a thieving p***k in game, yet IRL he's a timid little buttmunch that couldn't hurt a fly), asked me to help him (26 hunter) and a buddy (24 Mage) kill 25 champions in Redridge.. I figured since I was one "zone" away, I could go help them out, do a little charity work. So we get to blasting the orcs, and about halfway into the cave a polearm weapon drops...it's green, and the stats are fairly subpar at my level, but I've never gotten a polearm at this point and I want to raise my skill in the ability. The mage power loots it of course and doesnt say a word about it....I give my cousin a /w .."dude whats up with this guy?" and my cousin is like.."dude watch out, hes a power looting sob, hes got faster click skills than I do.." to which I responded..."all it takes is a little finess" ..so I message this guy in group.../party "hey (mage) is it cool if I grab that polearm off you? Ive been meaning to raise my skill in the ability and that looks like a fairly decent weapon to do it with.."
He goes..."/roll for it, its only a noob green item anyways"
"wtf?" I was thinking..."if its only a noob green item, why don't you just give it to me?"
So I say fine, and roll...my cousin rolls too of course, the little loot w***e. The mage...doesn't roll...doesnt say a word...I'm thinking, wow...I come to help and I get shit in return...sweet.
so I /party..."Hey, (mage)...you never rolled for the item. Would you mind rolling so we can continue killing champions to finish "your" quest?"
No response....meanwhile he's pulling a champion and a shadoweaver or whatever..
This is the part where I split with my cousin. Left the mage in the cave to fend for himself, and at 24, he wasn't going to get anywhere. Haven't heard a word from him since.
*shrug*
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Frax
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 8489
Location: Fuck yoiu fucking fuckers
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Posted: 01/12/05 - 13:58 Post subject:
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Dave's not here!
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Renork
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 23 Jun 2003
Posts: 6282
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Posted: 01/12/05 - 14:03 Post subject:
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| Syke wrote: |
This is the part where I split with my cousin. Left the mage in the cave to fend for himself, and at 24, he wasn't going to get anywhere. Haven't heard a word from him since.
*shrug* |
That was you!?
You d**k!
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Occulis
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 13293
Location: Moral Relativity Central
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Posted: 01/12/05 - 14:06 Post subject:
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Wow tha twas s****y of him.
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Goraz
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 3736
Location: Philadelphia
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Posted: 01/12/05 - 14:52 Post subject:
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HAEV A FREIND111!1!! WTF LOL L3TS CAL HIM DAEV!!11 OMG WTF DAEV SOMATIEMS LOGS ON2 MAH 2ND ACOUNT AND PLAYS11!! WTF DAEV IS A V3RY SMART DEDICAETD MAN IN HIS P3RSONAL LIEF1!!!!! OMG LOL H3 HAS A GOD JOB AND A LOVNG WIEF1!!11! OMG LOL DAEV IS LOVED AND RASP3CTED BY MANY PEOPLE!!1!1!!! WTF YET.1!!11!!11!11! WTF IN ONLIEN GM3S DAEV SUKS11!!1 OMG WTF
DAEV IS LEVEL 8!1!11! HE PLAYS A DRUID11!!!1 DAEV RUNS STRAGEHT FOR THRE LAV3L 9
CR3ATURES!!1!! OMG WTF LOL DAEV IS KILED QUIKLY!11111!! OMG LOL O HAHA DMN IT!1111!11 OMG WTF LOL THEY GOT M3 AGANE HE T3LS MA IN GROUP CHAT!!!111!! OMG WTF
OKAY!1!1 OMG WTF LOL WATE ON ME THIS TIEM I CAN PROBABLY HELP OUT11!!! WTF I TAL HIM11111 WTF IMM ONLY L3V3L 1 BUT U KNOW I CUD HALP OUT111!111 WTF
DAEV RESURECTS AT TEH SPIRIT H3AELR AND RUNS BAK 2 FIGHT CREATURES WHIEL UNDER TEH EFACTS OF RAZ ILNES!1!1 WTF LOL WT!1!!1!111111!1!!11!!! OMG WTF LOL DMMIT1!1!1! OMG WTF FUK1!11111
IMM WATCHNG HIS HEALTH M3T3R111!11!1 POR DAEV1!11! OMG WTF
A F3W MINUTAS L8R I SE DAEV ON DA MINI-MAP!!11!!11 LOL HAS COLECTNG IETMS FROM LOW LAVAL (4 AND 5) CREATURES1!11!1!1 WTF LOL SURALY H3S SAEF1!1!1! OMG WTF LOL TEH HIGHAST L3VEL CREATURA IN HIS AERA IS 7 AND THEIR ONLY 1OR 2 OF THOSA!11!! WTF LOL
H3ALTH.!!!!111!!!1!!! OMG LOL DROPNG!!!!!1! OMG WTF DAEV DEIS AGANE!!111111 OMG LOL WUT GOT U?!!!!!!!? WTF LOL
EVERYTHNG1!!1!1! OMG WTF LOL GOD DMN!!1! OMG WTF LOL
A F3W MINUTES L8R I ASK WUT W3APON HAS USNG!111!11 WTF LOL ITS HIS LEV3L 1 WEAPON11!11! WTF IT DOES 10DPS!!1111 LOL MYAEB L3S1!!! OMG WTF Y DONT U BUY A NU ONE???!!??!? WTF LOL THERE ONLY A FEW SILV3R AT THIS L3VEL!!1!1 WTF
I KNOW IMM SAVNG UP1!1! OMG WTF LOL
I INSPACT HIM!!!1!11 WTF HES MOSTLY NAEKD111!!1!1 OMG LOL
HE RUNS OF BFOR3 I CAN SE 10 IETMS1!!1!!!! OMG WTF LOL HE RUNS STRAGEHT OF DA WORLD TRE1!1!1!1! OMG LOL 2 THOS3 OF U WHO HAEVNT PLAEYD NIGHT ELVES THIS MAANS HA F3L OF A V3RY OBVIOUS CLIF A LONG LONG WAY1!11 WTF
DAEV IS A PROFASIONAL NEWBEI AND WIL NEVER GAT ANY BTAR NO MATAR WUT L3V3L H3 IS
!!111 WTF LOL
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Renork
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 23 Jun 2003
Posts: 6282
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Posted: 01/12/05 - 15:05 Post subject:
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teehee
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wellspoken
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 01 Feb 2003
Posts: 7137
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Posted: 01/12/05 - 15:40 Post subject:
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| Goraz wrote: | HAEV A FREIND111!1!! WTF LOL L3TS CAL HIM DAEV!!11 OMG WTF DAEV SOMATIEMS LOGS ON2 MAH 2ND ACOUNT AND PLAYS11!! WTF DAEV IS A V3RY SMART DEDICAETD MAN IN HIS P3RSONAL LIEF1!!!!! OMG LOL H3 HAS A GOD JOB AND A LOVNG WIEF1!!11! OMG LOL DAEV IS LOVED AND RASP3CTED BY MANY PEOPLE!!1!1!!! WTF YET.1!!11!!11!11! WTF IN ONLIEN GM3S DAEV SUKS11!!1 OMG WTF
DAEV IS LEVEL 8!1!11! HE PLAYS A DRUID11!!!1 DAEV RUNS STRAGEHT FOR THRE LAV3L 9
CR3ATURES!!1!! OMG WTF LOL DAEV IS KILED QUIKLY!11111!! OMG LOL O HAHA DMN IT!1111!11 OMG WTF LOL THEY GOT M3 AGANE HE T3LS MA IN GROUP CHAT!!!111!! OMG WTF
OKAY!1!1 OMG WTF LOL WATE ON ME THIS TIEM I CAN PROBABLY HELP OUT11!!! WTF I TAL HIM11111 WTF IMM ONLY L3V3L 1 BUT U KNOW I CUD HALP OUT111!111 WTF
DAEV RESURECTS AT TEH SPIRIT H3AELR AND RUNS BAK 2 FIGHT CREATURES WHIEL UNDER TEH EFACTS OF RAZ ILNES!1!1 WTF LOL WT!1!!1!111111!1!!11!!! OMG WTF LOL DMMIT1!1!1! OMG WTF FUK1!11111
IMM WATCHNG HIS HEALTH M3T3R111!11!1 POR DAEV1!11! OMG WTF
A F3W MINUTAS L8R I SE DAEV ON DA MINI-MAP!!11!!11 LOL HAS COLECTNG IETMS FROM LOW LAVAL (4 AND 5) CREATURES1!11!1!1 WTF LOL SURALY H3S SAEF1!1!1! OMG WTF LOL TEH HIGHAST L3VEL CREATURA IN HIS AERA IS 7 AND THEIR ONLY 1OR 2 OF THOSA!11!! WTF LOL
H3ALTH.!!!!111!!!1!!! OMG LOL DROPNG!!!!!1! OMG WTF DAEV DEIS AGANE!!111111 OMG LOL WUT GOT U?!!!!!!!? WTF LOL
EVERYTHNG1!!1!1! OMG WTF LOL GOD DMN!!1! OMG WTF LOL
A F3W MINUTES L8R I ASK WUT W3APON HAS USNG!111!11 WTF LOL ITS HIS LEV3L 1 WEAPON11!11! WTF IT DOES 10DPS!!1111 LOL MYAEB L3S1!!! OMG WTF Y DONT U BUY A NU ONE???!!??!? WTF LOL THERE ONLY A FEW SILV3R AT THIS L3VEL!!1!1 WTF
I KNOW IMM SAVNG UP1!1! OMG WTF LOL
I INSPACT HIM!!!1!11 WTF HES MOSTLY NAEKD111!!1!1 OMG LOL
HE RUNS OF BFOR3 I CAN SE 10 IETMS1!!1!!!! OMG WTF LOL HE RUNS STRAGEHT OF DA WORLD TRE1!1!1!1! OMG LOL 2 THOS3 OF U WHO HAEVNT PLAEYD NIGHT ELVES THIS MAANS HA F3L OF A V3RY OBVIOUS CLIF A LONG LONG WAY1!11 WTF
DAEV IS A PROFASIONAL NEWBEI AND WIL NEVER GAT ANY BTAR NO MATAR WUT L3V3L H3 IS
!!111 WTF LOL |
That gave me a headache.
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Occulis
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 13293
Location: Moral Relativity Central
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Posted: 01/12/05 - 15:49 Post subject:
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hahah
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Ikkan
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 06 Sep 2003
Posts: 3086
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Posted: 01/13/05 - 11:56 Post subject:
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I have an EQ story! There was a necro I knew once, let's call him "Scribe", and he joined a guild I was in at the time... let's call it, "Omen". But "Scribe" could never raid with us cause he didn't have his VT or Emp key, and I promised "Scribe" to help him so he could get his shit, but I really hated Ssra, and I made myself forgot about that promise I made.
...I'm sry Dunners
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NinjaBurger
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 01 Sep 2003
Posts: 2800
Location: St. Louis
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Posted: 01/13/05 - 14:30 Post subject:
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I was doing BFD with an alt because for some god unknown reason, I never did it, so hey, why not!
Saryn, this crazy b***h paladin, insisted on rolling on everying, just because she's an enchanter and "it'd benifit the whole group" because she gives discounts. I think to myself, well, I guess I'll put up with it, it can't be that bad right?
After losing 3-4 green items to, you know, someone who could f*****g use them, instead of getting fed to the disenchant button, she begins to whine about how she can't loot and how it's unfair that no one will help her do Enchanting. I tell her off, because it's enough f*****g b******t that she's rolling on everything, I really don't care if she wins or not because I'm there for my profit too, not hers. We finally finish the boss area, light the candles, and she proceeds to light two at a f*****g time so we get absolutely swamped with mobs. Luckily, I was on my feet with the priest, so we barely made it out alive.
You'd think after this, you'd finally disband, but nope, we're almost to the hydra, I'll disband then. I didn't know she was going to blame ME for casting hunter's mark on a mob beforehand 5 minutes ago. To top this shit off, she insists that only the warrior and paladin loot the sword because only they can use swords. Hunters can use swords too, I pointed out, in which she replied "You're a RANGE FIGHTER, idiot."
So after we beat the hydra, and the disenchant button wins the leech pants, I told the group members to move, and proceeded to warp train her. Hopefully, these shitcocks decide to quit, or they're chased out very quickly, because I'm definetely not going to be able to handle them during BRD/BRS.
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Occulis
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 13293
Location: Moral Relativity Central
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Posted: 01/13/05 - 14:33 Post subject:
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| Ikkan wrote: | I have an EQ story! There was a necro I knew once, let's call him "Scribe", and he joined a guild I was in at the time... let's call it, "Omen". But "Scribe" could never raid with us cause he didn't have his VT or Emp key, and I promised "Scribe" to help him so he could get his shit, but I really hated Ssra, and I made myself forgot about that promise I made.
...I'm sry Dunners |
Hey man 200hrs of shard camping taught me lots of great stuff about SOE and Luclin!
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Gethy
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 5595
Location: Tallahassee, FL
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Posted: 01/13/05 - 16:51 Post subject:
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| Occulis wrote: | | Ikkan wrote: | I have an EQ story! There was a necro I knew once, let's call him "Scribe", and he joined a guild I was in at the time... let's call it, "Omen". But "Scribe" could never raid with us cause he didn't have his VT or Emp key, and I promised "Scribe" to help him so he could get his shit, but I really hated Ssra, and I made myself forgot about that promise I made.
...I'm sry Dunners |
Hey man 200hrs of shard camping taught me lots of great stuff about SOE and Luclin! |
Like what part of your monitor can best sustain head butts?
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Occulis
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 13293
Location: Moral Relativity Central
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Posted: 01/13/05 - 17:07 Post subject:
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It taught me a couple things about EQ "success:"
1) Lie. A lot. Specifically, "This is my last piece." That way you'll be sure to get the "last piece" of your quest every step of the way, ahead of people who, say, need 3 or 4 more.
2) Whine. Specifically, "Wahhhhhhhh"
3) Goto (1)
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Akimatsu
Toomuchtimeonhands
Joined: 17 Oct 2002
Posts: 874
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Posted: 01/13/05 - 20:32 Post subject:
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good times man, good times.
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