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Zrazzt
Luke Warm
Joined: 09 Dec 2002
Posts: 199
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 Posted: 01/20/06 - 10:55 Post subject: Relationship question!
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Okay, here's the situation:
My girlfriend makes more money than me. Both get paid well.
I work fewer hours, I'm a teacher and work from 8am-1pm.
My girlfriend thinks because I work fewer hours, I should do more of the house work.
We split the bills 50/50, regardless of the salary gap.
I think the chores, like the bills, should be 50/50.
Now, if she paid a majority of the bills, or greater portion, I could see me doing more of the chores, but since time=money, I think that my free time is mine to do with as I please...
Thoughts?
Oh, and for those who are going to flame me for making less money than a girl, I could care less what you think.
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Isriam
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 15 Oct 2002
Posts: 2721
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Posted: 01/20/06 - 11:12 Post subject:
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who owns the house? apartment or house? are you lazy?
if you lived alone how much would you do around your house?
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kireol
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 02 Aug 2003
Posts: 9517
Location: Royal Oak, MI
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Posted: 01/20/06 - 11:14 Post subject:
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housework = womans work.
who kills spiders/fixes broken shit/lifts heavy stuff around the house?
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Zrazzt
Luke Warm
Joined: 09 Dec 2002
Posts: 199
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Posted: 01/20/06 - 11:17 Post subject:
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Am I lazy? No, I just hate doing housework. I'm not saying I won't do 50%, I'm saying I won't do more than my fair share.
Who owns the house? She does. However, I own my own place, and I rent it out, from which, she gets 50% of the proceeds... that's my "rent" as it were.
I fix and drill stuff when it needs to be done, to answer kireol's question 
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khrath
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 8750
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Posted: 01/20/06 - 11:21 Post subject:
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Relationships aren't about this is mine, that is yours, theyre about this is ours, lets work as a team, and do for eachother.
If your lazy ass is at home all day doing nothing, and she's at work all day bustin her ass, the last thing she needs is to come home to a messy house, seeing you in your boxers watching oprah, talking some shit like....I did half the dishes, the rest are for you.
My g/f would kick my ass if I pulled some shit like that =p
bottom line...teamwork....if you worked 10 hour days, and she worked 4 hour days, I doubt she'd have a sink full of dishes and a load of laundry waiting on you to get home to do.
men are just f****n lazy when it comes to housework, including myself, I get bitched out all the time for being lazy as hell =D
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Zrazzt
Luke Warm
Joined: 09 Dec 2002
Posts: 199
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Posted: 01/20/06 - 11:28 Post subject:
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Khrath,
No, I'm not talking about the laundry (we each do our own) or the dishes, I do general tidying every day (putting the dishes away, in the dishwasher, etc).
I'm talking about scrubbing the toilets etc. The stuff that doesn't need to be done until the weekend.
Oh, I also said "lets pay for a maid, 50/50" her response was "no, we can do the cleaning".
Does that change things?
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khrath
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 8750
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Posted: 01/20/06 - 11:31 Post subject:
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Dude, thats horrible.
My g/f does all the laundry, most of the dishes, vaccums, lol, come to think of it, i'm lazier than you ^^
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Occulis
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 13293
Location: Moral Relativity Central
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Posted: 01/20/06 - 11:33 Post subject:
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Interesting situation. She has more money, you have more time. She wants you to spend more time, she is unwilling to spend more money.
So you're unwilling to spend what you have (relatively) more of, and so is she.
Sounds like a good match!
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moot
Rookie
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 88
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Posted: 01/20/06 - 11:36 Post subject:
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I hope she gives you 50% **** from now on.
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Zrazzt
Luke Warm
Joined: 09 Dec 2002
Posts: 199
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Posted: 01/20/06 - 11:38 Post subject:
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that'd mean she'd get 50% less **** 
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khrath
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 8750
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Posted: 01/20/06 - 11:38 Post subject:
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yah, start giving her 50% of the c**k, see how long she goes for that
then be like...fine u want 100% of the c**k, you do 100% of that nasty toilet you skanky w***e, now take this d**k and like it u b***h
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principessa
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 3149
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Posted: 01/20/06 - 12:02 Post subject:
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I hate housework. From the time I was 23, I had a housekeeper in twice a week. Mind you, I was also working for my ex anywhere from 40-60 hours a week, sometimes Saturdays. The LAST thing I wanted to do with my free time was housework. I did laundry and occasional vacuuming or dusting if extra was needed, but that was it.
When I got divorced, some 20 years or so later, my housekeeper came with me, and charged me just half of what she used to, to do my apartment. It was a nice gesture on her part.
Now, Ezzan and I share the cleaning but he does more of it than I do--he does the floors and the bathrooms, sometimes the kitchen, and the vacuuming. (I'd vacuum but the one we have weighs a ton-when we get a new one, I'll do it then). I dust and polish all the "stuff" that is displayed, pick up any clutter (even his), do the laundry, etc.
We both work full time but he doesn't mind cleaning...and I STILL hate it. Can't have a housekeeper tho cause he sleeps days /sigh...
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Zimzulu
Toomuchtimeonhands
Joined: 02 Dec 2005
Posts: 883
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Posted: 01/20/06 - 12:05 Post subject:
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Pop that b***h in and then when she asks "Did you f*****g clean the toilet?" You can say yes and not be lying.
and http://www.irobot.com/ for your vacuuming and floor washing needs!
Make sure she gets her shit done though!
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Zrazzt
Luke Warm
Joined: 09 Dec 2002
Posts: 199
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Posted: 01/20/06 - 12:06 Post subject:
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Thanks princ. however, that doesn't help me
Am I wrong thinking if everything else is equal, shouldn't the housework be equal too?
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Zimzulu
Toomuchtimeonhands
Joined: 02 Dec 2005
Posts: 883
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Posted: 01/20/06 - 12:11 Post subject:
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| Zrazzt wrote: | Thanks princ. however, that doesn't help me
Am I wrong thinking if everything else is equal, shouldn't the housework be equal too? |
But everything isn't equal. Your work hours aren't equal. Your money is not equal. You just want the s****y stuff to be equal. You know I <3 u ZZZ and I mean no offence by the following but...... You are the woman in this relationship it is your job to cook and clean. The only solution to this is to knock her up wait 6-7 years and then have kids do that shit for you.
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Zimzulu
Toomuchtimeonhands
Joined: 02 Dec 2005
Posts: 883
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Posted: 01/20/06 - 12:18 Post subject:
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Reviewing this in my head yah its b******t.
If she wants you to do more house work then she should pay more bills. You take less money to have more free time. She takes more money to have less free time. She can't play the "I work hard to support us I should atleast come home to a clean house" card if she isn't actually chipping in more money.
PS
You're still the woman, and that makes me hot.
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Zrazzt
Luke Warm
Joined: 09 Dec 2002
Posts: 199
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Posted: 01/20/06 - 12:20 Post subject:
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Zimzulu:
Hey man,
But things ARE equal in everything else
Bills: 50/50
Rent: 50/50
Dinners/Drinks: 50/50
Groceries: 50/50
Her personal bank account is hers, and mine is mine.
If I wanted a new high tech TV, I'd have to pay for it, if she wanted flowers for the house, she would pay for it.
So why shouldn't the cleaning be equal?
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Sutto
Sir Postalot
Joined: 18 Oct 2002
Posts: 1100
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Posted: 01/20/06 - 12:24 Post subject:
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i'm in the same situation... but we still do 50/50 on chores but we chose which we do like she does laundry and i do dishes... but dishes are about all you'll see me doing lolz
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Aviger
RealPoor Sensei
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 1509
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Posted: 01/20/06 - 12:35 Post subject:
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| Zrazzt wrote: | Zimzulu:
Hey man,
But things ARE equal in everything else
Bills: 50/50
Rent: 50/50
Dinners/Drinks: 50/50
Groceries: 50/50
Her personal bank account is hers, and mine is mine.
If I wanted a new high tech TV, I'd have to pay for it, if she wanted flowers for the house, she would pay for it.
So why shouldn't the cleaning be equal? |
that doesn't sound like a relationship though, that sounds like a roomate you happen to f**k at night 
Relationships are compromise, as s****y as that is.
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Thenger
Can't Stop Posting
Joined: 17 Oct 2002
Posts: 715
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Posted: 01/20/06 - 12:37 Post subject:
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Dude, stop being a lazy f**k. So you put in an extra hour a day, so thats what a whole 6 hour sof work you do in a day, WOW! God I wish could work 6 hours a day, I work 9 hours having to open and close the office. Yesterday I went home two hours earily since I wasn't feeling well but instead of going to bed I did a little more house work cause I came home earily.
You keep this shit up and I doubt she will stay with you all that much longer and that will be the reason why, cause in the back of her mind she will think your a lazy b*****d.
Oh and as for you giving her 50% of the c**k, I am pretty sure liek any girl she can find some guy in a bar and get the other 50% of the d**k and still be happy!  LOL
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Zimzulu
Toomuchtimeonhands
Joined: 02 Dec 2005
Posts: 883
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Posted: 01/20/06 - 12:37 Post subject:
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| Zrazzt wrote: | Zimzulu:
Hey man,
But things ARE equal in everything else
Bills: 50/50
Rent: 50/50
Dinners/Drinks: 50/50
Groceries: 50/50
Her personal bank account is hers, and mine is mine.
If I wanted a new high tech TV, I'd have to pay for it, if she wanted flowers for the house, she would pay for it.
So why shouldn't the cleaning be equal? |
That brings me to another question then. How long have you guys been with each other and is it a great relationship? It sounds more like you guys are roomates that have **** with each other.
That is exactly how me and my roomates did things back when I had some, except the **** part.
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Zrazzt
Luke Warm
Joined: 09 Dec 2002
Posts: 199
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Posted: 01/20/06 - 12:42 Post subject:
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2 years, we're engaged, and the relationship is great.
We're both realists. Ya, it's like we're roommates that f**k, but that is a good thing, rather then a bad thing.
We're friends, and we have fun together.
I would be there for her if there was something important, or if she broke her leg and couldn't clean the house, I'd do it, I make the meals since I like to cook, but I'm not going to give up my free time to do stuff I hate that she is capable of doing. I work less by choice, and she makes more money, by choice. She could easily get a waitress job and have more free time, but she chooses not to
Like is a sum of the decisions we make. We all have to live with them, chores are no different. I'm a firm believer that we should get a maid, but she doesn't want one...
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Occulis
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 13293
Location: Moral Relativity Central
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Posted: 01/20/06 - 13:00 Post subject:
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You don't want to spend more time. She doesn't want to spend more money.
Odds are really good she's going to win. She's the woman!
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Rennol
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 3741
Location: Charleston, IL
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Posted: 01/20/06 - 13:08 Post subject:
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Occulis has a way of boiling down complicated concepts into one or two sentences.
You would be perfect at briefing senior management of corporations on shit that they don't have time to fully sort out and figure out by themselves.
Oh - Zrazzt - My suggestion is to get a part time job that causes you to work in total more than your girlfriend. Then do less chores and enjoy the extra $. When she complains, be like, WORK MORE OMG!
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motherface
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 12 Mar 2003
Posts: 3407
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Posted: 01/20/06 - 13:11 Post subject:
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The problem with the 50/50 thing as it relates to housework is... how do you say "I've done 50% of the cleaning"? You should just hire a housekeeper and take it out of your share of the rent.
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principessa
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 3149
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Posted: 01/20/06 - 13:17 Post subject:
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Zzzzz...what I mean, I suppose, is...does it really matter? In the end, in a good relationship, things WILL balance out...when one person gives too much or one gives too little, that causes imbalance and usually the demise of the relationship.
You both make good money.
You work less hours out of the house than she does.
So, who has more time? Sounds like you.
If you are picking up the slack in the cleaning then, ideally, she'll pick up the slack in something else. You can't force tit-for-tat in a relationship.
Ezzan cleans cause the house needs to be cleaned <shrug> We both cook, so I do laundry, groceries (ugh), hang my own pictures and curtains, etc. It's a trade-off but we don't keep a running "total."
We don't have separate funds or pay separate bills. Everything is lumped together and we both have equal access to it. I make twice as much as he does but I wouldn't dream of telling him he could only spend half as much as I do. By the same token, I would not expect to pay twice as many bills as he does simply cause I earn more.
LOL my replies are all over the place today...sorry 
What do you teach??
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shinja mayoke
Luke Warm
Joined: 04 Jan 2003
Posts: 434
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Posted: 01/20/06 - 13:30 Post subject:
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Throw the amount of money made here out the window, that is irrelevant.
The issue here is time available to do such chores, which you have more of.
Seriously if you two are both making good money there is no reason to NOT have a maid come by once a week to do the things neither of you like to do, this is called compromise.
Your part of the compromise would be to do MORE of the things you dont mind doing, whether thats home projects, cooking, yard work, or just coming up with romantic gestures.
I dont know either of you but I would tend to think this is less about house work and more about her wanting something extra...she is female after all, and they must feel like they are getting the better part of the deal in some way, and thats the fact.
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Occulis
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 13293
Location: Moral Relativity Central
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Posted: 01/20/06 - 13:31 Post subject:
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He teaches Advanced Underwater Maple Syrup Extraction to Mounties.
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Ishmael
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 03 Jun 2005
Posts: 4446
Location: The US of A
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Posted: 01/20/06 - 13:37 Post subject:
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Where do I enroll??
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Maldek
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 16 Oct 2002
Posts: 2089
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Posted: 01/20/06 - 13:40 Post subject:
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| Aviger wrote: | | Zrazzt wrote: | Zimzulu:
Hey man,
But things ARE equal in everything else
Bills: 50/50
Rent: 50/50
Dinners/Drinks: 50/50
Groceries: 50/50
Her personal bank account is hers, and mine is mine.
If I wanted a new high tech TV, I'd have to pay for it, if she wanted flowers for the house, she would pay for it.
So why shouldn't the cleaning be equal? |
that doesn't sound like a relationship though, that sounds like a roomate you happen to f**k at night :P
Relationships are compromise, as s****y as that is. |
I agree with Aviger. Relationships aren't about "I clean once, you clean once" it's more like "I love you so I'll clean so you don't have to"
Selfish b*****d
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