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Venkmen
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 12 Oct 2002
Posts: 2260
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 Posted: 10/14/03 - 20:08 Post subject: Pure f*****g Genius
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www.tardblog.com
This has to be some of the funniest shit I have read in a long time. Make sure and check out the archived shit at the bottom also.
The one titled "Tyrell has a problem with Referees" is one of my personal favs.
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Aeain
RealPoor Sensei
Joined: 22 Oct 2002
Posts: 1973
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Posted: 10/14/03 - 20:39 Post subject:
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f*****g hilarious
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Venkmen
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 12 Oct 2002
Posts: 2260
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Posted: 10/14/03 - 22:18 Post subject:
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Yeah I laughed my ass off when I first read it.
I bet these f*****s get some horid hate mail.
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newuser_01
Total Newbie
Joined: 09 Oct 2003
Posts: 40
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Posted: 10/14/03 - 23:01 Post subject:
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| Venkmen wrote: | Yeah I laughed my ass off when I first read it.
I bet these f*****s get some horid hate mail. |
posted months n months ago.. I laughed then too!
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Sasa
Sir Postalot
Joined: 15 Oct 2002
Posts: 1213
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Posted: 10/15/03 - 00:00 Post subject:
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I dunno about funniness Venk but will you wear a maid outfit and let me call you Buffy?..feather duster included.
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Krumble
Toomuchtimeonhands
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 771
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Posted: 10/15/03 - 00:30 Post subject:
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| Quote: | 1/10b: Retardism runs in Family:
Trevor is in third grade. He was born with fetal alcohol syndrome and as a result if very slow. He is also very bad at reading. He guesses at words, and doesn't even know his sounds. The most frustrating part is that he doesn't care. It doesn't seem to bother him that, in his reading group are 3 kindergarteners, retarded ones no les, and him.
Last year I had Trevor's brother in my class. He has since moved on to high school. He was scary. I guarantee he will be on America's Most Wanted in like 10 years. Him and I fought just about every day last year because he always wore bandanas to school, which is against school rules. He would always try to compromise with me regarding the bandana ("if I finish all my typing, can I wear it out to recess", etc.)
The most annoying thing he would do was to constantly repeat song lyrics. At least fifteen times a day he would, out of nowhere, bust out with "Jiggah-Jiggah Slim Shady". I wanted to beat him. Near the end of last year he had changed it to "Notorious B-I-G- baby baby". This wasn't nearly as bad as "Jiggah-Jiggah Slim Shady" but was still annoying.
Trevor has replicated this annoying habit. It is as if his brother and him concocted a New Years resolution to p**s me off. Trevor was sent to the principal's office, then eventually home because he could not stop saying "Forty degrees when I tell that b***h please." This was his answer to anything and everything. During reading group I asked him to read one sentence from the book. The f****r puts his finger on the sentence, and says, while pretending to be reading, "Forty degrees when I tell that b***h please."
Luckily, the kindergarteners are too young and retarded to comprehend this. Trevor is then sent to the principal's office after doing the same thing three more times.
Today Trevor returns, and his new phrase is "Young and dangerous, ain't nobody can hang with us." This one isn't as bad, but it p****s me off because he is saying ain't. I don't want my kids to hear this, because they will be prone to repeating it.
After several warnings, the behavior continues, so he goes back to the office. The principal asks him if he needs to call his mom to come get him.
Trevor's response (I kid you not), "n***a Please."
He went home shortly after that. |
ROFL.
My aunt works for Easter Seals and used to be in a similar position, but working with younger kids. I got a lot of exposure to her kids and their various problems, and most of these lady's stories sound very uncharacteristic of the disorders she describes.
Still, I can't imagine anyone taking the time to make all of that up if it were not true. And some of the stories are pretty damn funny on top of that.
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Krumble
Toomuchtimeonhands
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 771
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Posted: 10/15/03 - 00:35 Post subject:
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Hahaha
| Quote: | Though this was funny, the capstone to the trip was this:
I laughed at this one huge fat kid because he all the sudden started smelling like shit. He had literally shit his pants, right there in the classroom. Riti hits the intercom button.
The response is some lady who says "Yes, office?"
Riti says this only "We have a code brown."
The lady says "I will send down the principal and the janitor."
I no longer was able to contain my laughter. THEY HAD A SYSTEM SET UP TO DEAL WITH THE s****y FAT KID! I started to laugh uncontrollably loud.
At this, the fat retard becomes mad and charges me, knocks me into a bookcase and the bookcase falls over and all the books fall out, and he lands on top of me, in the middle of all these books all over the floor. He was so huge that the impact of him landing on me knocks the breath out of me and breaks my hand. NO SHIT--BROKE MY f*****g HAND!
Now I am not a small man, nor a wimp, and at 6'4, 200 lbs, I figured I was safe around the tards. But the kid was so big that he broke my hand and scratched up my neck and side.
Mentally picture this image: bookshelf down, little tard books scattered everywhere, me in the middle of them with a fat tard on top of me, the principal and janitor are at the door, AND RITI CONTINUES TEACHING! AS IF NOTHING AT ALL HAD HAPPENED!!
Finally I throw the tard off of me, and I see the diarrhea all over the ass of his huge, tent-size sweatpants. That image, combined with the intense shit smell, caused me to vomit on the floor.
Later, I am sitting in a tiny little chair, made for someone 1/4 my size, with my hand throbbing and the taste of vomit in my mouth. All Riti does is look at me and say, "I knew you couldn't handle this. Real good AJ, real good," and then continues to teach. Her and all of the kids acted as if nothing had happened, with me sitting in my midget chair, nursing my broken hand, faintly smelling of tard crap, and feeling like the biggest tard in the room.
My roommates had a great 6 weeks of making fun of me until the cast came off. They all signed it with stupid shit, like, "Beware of Fat Tards."
Riti signed it "Real good, AJ".
And if I recall correctly, Riti has a picture of me with the cast on later that evening. She had no pity for me at all. |
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Venkmen
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 12 Oct 2002
Posts: 2260
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Posted: 10/15/03 - 01:04 Post subject:
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| Sasa wrote: | | I dunno about funniness Venk but will you wear a maid outfit and let me call you Buffy?..feather duster included. |
For you Sasa...anything.
/tickle tickle
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