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Frashii
Sir Postalot
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 1329
Location: Anchorage, AK
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 Posted: 05/27/03 - 13:24 Post subject: Problems... and solutions!
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Airline humor
Never let it be said that Australian ground crews and engineers lack a
sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints by
QANTAS pilots and the corrective action recorded by mechanics. By the
way, Qantas is the only major airline worldwide that has never had an
accident.
(P stands for the problem the pilots entered in the log, and S stands
for the corrective action taken by the mechanics.)
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for!
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windscreen.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing. (note: this was for a piston-engined
airplane; the pilot meant the engine was not running smoothly)
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed radar with words.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
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Paco
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 13 Oct 2002
Posts: 12940
Location: Jacksonville, FL
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Posted: 05/27/03 - 13:35 Post subject:
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alot of those made me laugh out loud, thanks frashii! 
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Mogling
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 29 Dec 2002
Posts: 2451
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Posted: 05/27/03 - 13:36 Post subject:
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Frashii is stealing Sora's oldstuff from RoM bboards, im snitching
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Paco
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 13 Oct 2002
Posts: 12940
Location: Jacksonville, FL
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Posted: 05/27/03 - 13:37 Post subject:
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| Mogling wrote: | | Frashii is stealing Sora's oldstuff from RoM bboards, im snitching |
that's ok, i just posted it on a site i frequent too
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Mogling
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 29 Dec 2002
Posts: 2451
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Posted: 05/27/03 - 13:39 Post subject:
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They do make ya laugh
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eqchanter
RealPoor Sensei
Joined: 04 Dec 2002
Posts: 1543
Location: tennessee
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Posted: 05/27/03 - 13:54 Post subject: Re: Problems... and solutions!
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| Frashii wrote: | Airline humor
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for!
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
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ive used these 3 at work heh. but it always gets rejected and they make me put in something less sarcastic. i first heard these at a blue angels show about 9 years ago who also claim that they are the orininator of these jokes. seen many others do it to. but they are still funny. especialy to people who work with aircraft all the time. the IFF one always makes me laaugh. its not just IFF though alot of times they ill get a call to fix a radio and when i get there its off but the switch looks like this.
o
f
f
so the pilots get confused because there is no on its usually off,guard,tr,tr+g, and test. it also cracks me up when i go out there and they say my headphones dont work but the speaker dose. i look down to see they arent plugged in. this is where i ask them to go inside and write me a work order maf and i take a 30 minute break with the adf radio listening to the game.
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