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Xarpolis
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 15 Oct 2002
Posts: 2884
Location: Philly, PA
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 Posted: 03/12/04 - 08:36 Post subject: Oh, that's nasty... My hand just touched the water!
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I was on the phone with a buddy of mine the other day, and in the middle of no where, he just says "Oh, that's nasty... My hand just touched the water!" I responded with what are you talking about, and he's all "I was wiping and my hand hit the water". Suddenly I laugh in his ear and ask if he's some kind of p***y, and he's like no man, how do you wipe? Well, I reach around like all men do!
So anyway, we got into this discussion about how we wipe & how we deal with the toilet paper, and we decided to ask a few other friends for their input also. I'm suprised to hear how many guys use the female route of reaching through the legs while sitting, as opposed to standing up & reaching around.
So here's my questions:
How do you wipe?
Do you count out a set number of toilet paper squares (how many?) or do you just pull a section of paper down and just tear when you think it's long enough.
Do you fold the paper up, bunch it into a ball, do the bee-hive around your hand, or what?
Come on people, time to answer!
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Confused
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 08 Feb 2004
Posts: 6730
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Posted: 03/12/04 - 08:38 Post subject:
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I usually wipe your mom's ass with my d**k.
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Paco
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 13 Oct 2002
Posts: 12939
Location: Jacksonville, FL
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Posted: 03/12/04 - 08:48 Post subject:
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one of the shittiest topics ever
wtg!
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Tinladar
Sir Postalot
Joined: 03 Jan 2003
Posts: 1448
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Posted: 03/12/04 - 08:49 Post subject:
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uh.. i wipe through my legs, because that way my ass cheeks are already spread and all i have to do is swipe once or twice..
and uh.. i pull till it looks right, then wrap it around my hand, remove tp from hand, put tp in hand, wipe, and go!
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Xarpolis
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 15 Oct 2002
Posts: 2884
Location: Philly, PA
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Posted: 03/12/04 - 08:53 Post subject:
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| Phoenix wrote: | | I usually wipe your mom's ass with my d**k. |
That's cute, but let's be serious for once in your life. The closest you're ever going to come to getting some ass, or anything else for that matter, is when you tuck your junk back and run around saying "Look I'm a girl!".
So let's stick with something you at least have some real world experience with... the question at hand.
And for paco: I don't think so. People are for some reason afraid to say what they do, like it's a sacred thing... But We were asking waitresses and shit this at resteraunts, and it really gets some odd responces.
So I figured I would ask here as well.
EDIT: Spell check!
Last edited by Xarpolis on 03/12/04 - 17:58; edited 1 time in total
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Confused
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 08 Feb 2004
Posts: 6730
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Posted: 03/12/04 - 08:58 Post subject:
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| Xarpolis wrote: |
That's cute, but let's be serious for once in our life. |
No.
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Occulis
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 13293
Location: Moral Relativity Central
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Posted: 03/12/04 - 09:23 Post subject:
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Wiping toward your balls seems nasty. I reach around and wipe up-up-and-away from my ball sack.
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kemble
RealPoor Sensei
Joined: 14 Oct 2002
Posts: 1909
Location: MI
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Posted: 03/12/04 - 09:26 Post subject:
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| Occulis wrote: | | Wiping toward your balls seems nasty. I reach around and wipe up-up-and-away from my ball sack. |
I concur, sir
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Paco
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 13 Oct 2002
Posts: 12939
Location: Jacksonville, FL
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Posted: 03/12/04 - 09:31 Post subject:
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| Xarpolis wrote: |
And for paco: I don't think so. People are for some reason afraid to say what they do, like it's a sacred thing... But We were asking waitresses and shit this at resteraunts, and it really gets some odd responces.
So I figured I would ask here as well. |
Dude...
I made a FUNNY!!! SHITTIEST...get it? laugh now, damnit! I made a funny!!!!
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Confused
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 08 Feb 2004
Posts: 6730
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Posted: 03/12/04 - 09:32 Post subject:
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| Xarpolis wrote: | | People are for some reason afraid to say what they do, like it's a sacred thing... But We were asking waitresses and shit this at resteraunts, and it really gets some odd responces. |
Because it's low class.
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NickPSH
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 5680
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Posted: 03/12/04 - 09:45 Post subject:
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| Phoenix wrote: | | Xarpolis wrote: | | People are for some reason afraid to say what they do, like it's a sacred thing... But We were asking waitresses and shit this at resteraunts, and it really gets some odd responces. |
Because it's low class. |
LOW CLASS? They must be democrats! Get em boy! No? Okay.
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Dril
Can't Stop Posting
Joined: 07 Nov 2003
Posts: 501
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Posted: 03/12/04 - 10:16 Post subject:
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Reach around for life.
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Nobonius
Sir Postalot
Joined: 27 Dec 2002
Posts: 1121
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Posted: 03/12/04 - 10:24 Post subject:
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Reach around and away from sack.
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Confused
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 08 Feb 2004
Posts: 6730
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Posted: 03/12/04 - 10:27 Post subject:
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| Tizitchy Tinkergnome wrote: | | Phoenix wrote: | | Xarpolis wrote: | | People are for some reason afraid to say what they do, like it's a sacred thing... But We were asking waitresses and shit this at resteraunts, and it really gets some odd responces. |
Because it's low class. |
LOW CLASS? They must be democrats! Get em boy! No? Okay. |
Class trancends political barriers.
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NickPSH
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 5680
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Posted: 03/12/04 - 10:36 Post subject:
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| Phoenix wrote: | | Tizitchy Tinkergnome wrote: | | Phoenix wrote: | | Xarpolis wrote: | | People are for some reason afraid to say what they do, like it's a sacred thing... But We were asking waitresses and shit this at resteraunts, and it really gets some odd responces. |
Because it's low class. |
LOW CLASS? They must be democrats! Get em boy! No? Okay. |
Class trancends political barriers. |
Hey, do you ever hear the Mario Theme in your head with a Jamaican backdrop?
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Confused
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 08 Feb 2004
Posts: 6730
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Posted: 03/12/04 - 10:45 Post subject:
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| Tizitchy Tinkergnome wrote: | | Phoenix wrote: | | Tizitchy Tinkergnome wrote: | | Phoenix wrote: | | Xarpolis wrote: | | People are for some reason afraid to say what they do, like it's a sacred thing... But We were asking waitresses and shit this at resteraunts, and it really gets some odd responces. |
Because it's low class. |
LOW CLASS? They must be democrats! Get em boy! No? Okay. |
Class trancends political barriers. |
Hey, do you ever hear the Mario Theme in your head with a Jamaican backdrop? |
I don't get it. Are you making fun of me because I think asking a waitress how she wipes her ass is low class??
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Janoth
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 17 Nov 2002
Posts: 3135
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Posted: 03/12/04 - 10:50 Post subject:
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Reach around.
One time I got some big ass m**********n welt or some shit on my side. It was hard to wipe cuz i could barely move my arm without this thing hurting like a b***h. I used my left hand. Its hard to wipe ur ass with your left hand.
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NickPSH
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 5680
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Posted: 03/12/04 - 12:00 Post subject:
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| Phoenix wrote: | | Tizitchy Tinkergnome wrote: | | Phoenix wrote: | | Tizitchy Tinkergnome wrote: | | Phoenix wrote: | | Xarpolis wrote: | | People are for some reason afraid to say what they do, like it's a sacred thing... But We were asking waitresses and shit this at resteraunts, and it really gets some odd responces. |
Because it's low class. |
LOW CLASS? They must be democrats! Get em boy! No? Okay. |
Class trancends political barriers. |
Hey, do you ever hear the Mario Theme in your head with a Jamaican backdrop? |
I don't get it. Are you making fun of me because I think asking a waitress how she wipes her ass is low class?? |
The first question: I was joking about how you have a witch hunt for Democrats.
The second question: I seriously wanted to know if you ever sing the mario song just out of nowhere.
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Brash
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 20 Oct 2002
Posts: 3958
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Posted: 03/12/04 - 12:57 Post subject:
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| Tinladar wrote: | uh.. i wipe through my legs, because that way my ass cheeks are already spread and all i have to do is swipe once or twice..
and uh.. i pull till it looks right, then wrap it around my hand, remove tp from hand, put tp in hand, wipe, and go! |
same.
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LerraLove
Toomuchtimeonhands
Joined: 22 Oct 2002
Posts: 827
Location: Redmond, Washington
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Posted: 03/12/04 - 13:07 Post subject:
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wtf your friends talk to you on the phone while they wipe their asses ? ? ? ? Sick 
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median
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 16 Oct 2002
Posts: 2183
Location: Hamillton, Canada
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Posted: 03/12/04 - 13:15 Post subject:
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wipe? toilet paper?
huh?
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Dapht
Luke Warm
Joined: 19 Oct 2002
Posts: 348
Location: ALaska
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Posted: 03/12/04 - 13:27 Post subject:
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How many of you use the wet wipe type toilet paper? Eliminates those days were it doesn't seem like you get it all clean.
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compusmack
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 15 Oct 2002
Posts: 6354
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Aviger
RealPoor Sensei
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 1509
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Posted: 03/12/04 - 14:41 Post subject:
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| Tizitchy Tinkergnome wrote: |
The second question: I seriously wanted to know if you ever sing the mario song just out of nowhere. |
f**k YOU....as soon as i read that the tune starting playing in my head and it's NOT STOPPING ARRRGH
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Syke
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 12 Oct 2002
Posts: 2976
Location: Huntington Beach, CA
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Posted: 03/12/04 - 15:24 Post subject:
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OH man haha...Ok..
I wipe my ass from the side/reach around. It's the only way to go...
I just lift my right butt cheek and it spreads it just enough to grant access to a handful of toiletpaper. If I'm not in a hurry I'll make an even number of toilet paper squares and fold it, then fold it again so that it makes a flat surface to whipe with...it's less rough on the sphincter.
If im in a hurry i just guesstimate the amount of TP, bunch it up, and wipe with a small portion of it between my fingers and thumb, the fingers do all the rubbing while the thumb remains a good distance away from any butt dwellers. I also do the fold over and re-use technique if I'm really bummin' it on the TP supply..it's tough sometimes tho, sometimes I get soooo close to getting my fingers in my own poo that I'm wary of using the technique altogether...
s****y thread btw...
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Rennol
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 3741
Location: Charleston, IL
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Posted: 03/12/04 - 17:01 Post subject:
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Pags
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 3260
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Posted: 03/12/04 - 17:05 Post subject:
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| Occulis wrote: | | Wiping toward your balls seems nasty. I reach around and wipe up-up-and-away from my ball sack. |
I thought all guys did till I read this thread.
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Guest
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Posted: 03/12/04 - 17:09 Post subject:
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| Dapht wrote: | | How many of you use the wet wipe type toilet paper? Eliminates those days were it doesn't seem like you get it all clean. |
I do a side reach with paper and finish up with a baby wipe. Its the best way to go. I'm aloe fresh after every shit.
<img src=http://www.procter.se/highres/jpg72/Pampers/Baby_Wipes_Sensit_Box_72.jpg width=500 height=305>
edit: size -compu
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Brash
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 20 Oct 2002
Posts: 3958
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Posted: 03/12/04 - 17:23 Post subject:
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| Pags wrote: | | Occulis wrote: | | Wiping toward your balls seems nasty. I reach around and wipe up-up-and-away from my ball sack. |
I thought all guys did till I read this thread. |
i tried the reach around once . seemed like a big pain in the ass and harder to get clean. sitting down , your ass cheeks are already spreed all the way open and everything is easy to get at. Not to mention with the reach around method, when you stand up the little bit of shit that is left over has to get smooshed and make a even bigger mess.
after reading that , it sure doesn't seem like i am talking about how i wipe my ass
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Goraz
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 3736
Location: Philadelphia
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Posted: 03/12/04 - 17:38 Post subject:
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| Phoenix wrote: | | Xarpolis wrote: |
That's cute, but let's be serious for once in our life. |
No. |
Xarp
should have said "your"
Cause seriously, your life is a joke.
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