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compusmack
RealPoor Master of Posts

Joined: 15 Oct 2002 Posts: 6354
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Posted: 04/01/03 - 14:24 Post subject: Napster is back
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http://www.gigalaw.com/articles/2002-all/napster-microsoft-2003-04-01.html
| Quote: | By Sidd Finch
Staff Writer
Redmond, Washington (April 1, 2003) -- Napster Inc., the start-up music file-swapping company shuttered by the courts that has never generated a single dollar in revenue, today announced that it has bought Microsoft Corporation, the world's largest software company, valued at more than $328 billion.
Following antitrust approval by either the Federal Trade Commission or the Federal Communications Commission -- the two agencies have not yet decided which will review the acquisition -- Napster said it would file a copyright infringement lawsuit against itself, a tactic legal observers believe creates the most likely scenario for the embattled company to prevail in court. The legal move also would end the government's antitrust lawsuit against Microsoft, effectively eliminating the pending settlement and the outstanding claims by nine holdout states.
The takeover technically requires approval of Microsoft shareholders but already has the backing of the company's two largest stock owners, Chairman Bill Gates and CEO Steve Ballmer, thereby making the shareholder vote a foregone conclusion and a mere formality.
Financing for the buyout was provided largely by a group of former dot-com pioneers who reaped sufficient rewards during the Internet's heyday to enable the unanticipated move. The group was led by former Webvan CEO George Shaheen.
At a press conference scheduled for later today, Napster's lead litigation counsel, David Boies, is expected to be named chairman of the new company. Ironically, Boies once represented the U.S. government in its antitrust suit against Microsoft. He is largely credited with engineering the deal and the forthcoming legal strategy.
Another Boies client, former Vice President Al Gore, is expected to be named "chief intellectual officer" of the new company. Reached at his home in Carthage, Tennessee, Gore said today, "During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating file-swapping."
Also expected to join the new Napster-owned-Microsoft venture is dissident director Walter Hewlett of Hewlett Packard Co.
The new company plans to file a copyright infringement lawsuit against itself under a little-known provision of the controversial Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA). Interestingly, the company claims that it has obtained a "business-method patent" in the United States for this legal strategy.
(Editor's Note: Yes, this article is an April Fool's Day gag. But don't be embarrassed if you believed it; you're not the only one.)
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Zwadrich
RealPoor Master of Posts

Joined: 12 Oct 2002 Posts: 5015
Location: The Netherlands
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Posted: 04/01/03 - 15:34 Post subject:
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=\
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Goraz
RealPoor Guru

Joined: 11 Oct 2002 Posts: 3736
Location: Philadelphia
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Posted: 04/01/03 - 15:56 Post subject:
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napster is not back. Its a music / file sharing program at a COST.
Why else would microsoft buy it?
napster was free, this ain't napster
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Overon
RealPoor Guru

Joined: 14 Oct 2002 Posts: 3602
Location: PLANE OF PIXIES
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Posted: 04/01/03 - 16:20 Post subject:
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was that a joke or are you really that retarded Goraz?
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Janoth
RealPoor Guru

Joined: 17 Nov 2002 Posts: 3135
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Posted: 04/01/03 - 16:26 Post subject:
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lololol
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atarom
Dalai Lama of RealPoor

Joined: 11 Oct 2002 Posts: 16398
Location: 375th st. Y
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Posted: 04/01/03 - 22:55 Post subject:
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that's not even close to being funny though.
who would really even for a split second believe that? compusmack... april 1... duh?
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Faerdal
Toomuchtimeonhands

Joined: 11 Oct 2002 Posts: 954
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Posted: 04/02/03 - 00:34 Post subject:
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i am somewhat amused by the fact that someone who used to have the title of "shut the f**k up and learn to read!!" (paraphrased), not only missed the extremely obvious april fools joke, but managed to completely misunderstand the article and overall come off as your basic everyday waste of oxygen
nice one man.
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Faerdal
Toomuchtimeonhands

Joined: 11 Oct 2002 Posts: 954
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Posted: 04/02/03 - 00:36 Post subject:
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i'd just like to second myself in mentioning goraz's complete uselessness to the human race again
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