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Brael
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 2122
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 Posted: 10/30/03 - 21:59 Post subject: Mastrubation related injuries?
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Well, I'm sitting here like usual naked in my chair, a fat pile of flesh staring at some hentai (or as Kbarr would call it, cartoon porn) and reading literotica, but today isn't like any normal day because earlier while using the long preferred method of rubbing my d**k on a mattress, I injured my hip. This got me to thinking about the worst way someone has injured theirself while getting themselves off. Personally, for me it would have to be when I was 8 years old and I stuck my d**k in a shampoo bottle, by the time I was done my d**k was cut in more places than I could count and the shampoo in each cut hurt extremly bad... worst thing I've ever felt. How about you?
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ATM Banana
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 02 Jan 2003
Posts: 8575
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Posted: 10/30/03 - 22:03 Post subject:
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that sounds pretty bad, a friend of mine stuck his in a bottle of ice hot.
but thats not the worst. i've read about a person's d**k being ripped off after he thought it would feel nice to stick it into a water circulator at an olymic sized pool, apparantly the hole wasn't intended for such use, and had too much suction for the penis to withstand. I take pleasure in the plight of man kind.
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Buntz
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 13 Oct 2002
Posts: 3340
Location: Banner Elk, N.C.
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Posted: 10/30/03 - 22:09 Post subject:
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dude..thats just..gah
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NickPSH
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 5680
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Posted: 10/30/03 - 22:37 Post subject:
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Probably when I grabbed what I thought was lotion only it turned out to be some sort of skin burning substance.
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Tolanin
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 16 Oct 2002
Posts: 3551
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Posted: 10/30/03 - 22:40 Post subject:
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you stuck your d**k in a shampoo bottle when you were 8??? wtf
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NinjaBurger
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 01 Sep 2003
Posts: 2800
Location: St. Louis
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Posted: 10/30/03 - 22:46 Post subject:
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| ATM Banana wrote: | that sounds pretty bad, a friend of mine stuck his in a bottle of ice hot.
but thats not the worst. i've read about a person's d**k being ripped off after he thought it would feel nice to stick it into a water circulator at an olymic sized pool, apparantly the hole wasn't intended for such use, and had too much suction for the penis to withstand. I take pleasure in the plight of man kind. |
That was a false urban legend.
Anyway, worst pain I had masterbaiting was when I was j*********f, and I got this horrible pain in my wrist, and let it drop down with my d**k....it felt like it snapped so bad =/
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ATM Banana
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 02 Jan 2003
Posts: 8575
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Posted: 10/30/03 - 22:49 Post subject:
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tunnel carpal syndrome?
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Paden
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 23 Oct 2002
Posts: 9362
Location: North CAROLINA!
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Posted: 10/30/03 - 23:10 Post subject:
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slicing teh penix with yer finger naiL!
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atarom
Dalai Lama of RealPoor
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 16395
Location: 375th st. Y
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Posted: 10/30/03 - 23:17 Post subject:
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| Paden wrote: | | slicing teh penix with yer finger naiL! |
that's the worst for me, cept it was from my ex giving me bj and goin a little bit nuts. no pun.
it f****n hurt for a while.
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Silvermouse
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 12 Oct 2002
Posts: 11015
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Posted: 10/30/03 - 23:24 Post subject:
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Don't masturbate when you have a headache or your head will throb worse.
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Kantiz
Sir Postalot
Joined: 13 Oct 2002
Posts: 1267
Location: Harrisburg, PA
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Posted: 10/30/03 - 23:28 Post subject:
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You all are like the father I never had. I love you.
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atarom
Dalai Lama of RealPoor
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 16395
Location: 375th st. Y
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Posted: 10/30/03 - 23:29 Post subject:
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i've noticed that **** is good for headaches. increases blood flow, which is never a bad thing.
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ATM Banana
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 02 Jan 2003
Posts: 8575
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Posted: 10/30/03 - 23:37 Post subject:
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i think blood flow is the reason for the headache
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ATM Banana
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 02 Jan 2003
Posts: 8575
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Posted: 10/30/03 - 23:38 Post subject:
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double posting and releasing pressure on the brain is always good for headaches.
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GruntingCod
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 6399
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Posted: 10/30/03 - 23:42 Post subject:
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| Silvermouse wrote: | | Don't masturbate when you have a headache or your head will throb worse. |
Yes, from experience, don't do that.
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ATM Banana
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 02 Jan 2003
Posts: 8575
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Posted: 10/30/03 - 23:43 Post subject:
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dude, you f*****g tried to get buisy with a blender.
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Neone
Can't Stop Posting
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 524
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Posted: 10/31/03 - 01:22 Post subject:
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when i was about 10 i discoverd that by rubbing my d**k through my boxer shorts i could have an orgasm, so after rubbing my c**k furiously for the umteenth time that week i finally ripped the skin off the bottom of my c**k, just below my frenum.. i still have a scar there but its all good cause its pretty sensitive in the scarred up area for some reason.
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ATM Banana
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 02 Jan 2003
Posts: 8575
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Posted: 10/31/03 - 01:24 Post subject:
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the board of Realpoor demands photos of disfigured penis, if possible being inserted into padens bulging face licking
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atarom
Dalai Lama of RealPoor
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 16395
Location: 375th st. Y
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Posted: 10/31/03 - 01:56 Post subject:
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| ATM Banana wrote: | | the board of Realpoor demands photos of disfigured penis, if possible being inserted into padens bulging face licking |
it is true.
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Gutrippar
Can't Stop Posting
Joined: 13 Oct 2002
Posts: 528
Location: Deventer, Holland.
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Posted: 10/31/03 - 04:21 Post subject:
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Whenever i have a headache, i have ****. In fact, when i am, having a cold, i have ****. Damn, i even had **** when i had a fever and still that made me feel better.
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Zwadrich
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 12 Oct 2002
Posts: 5015
Location: The Netherlands
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Posted: 10/31/03 - 04:30 Post subject:
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and when yo mama was ill, \you had ****, when yo niggah got shot, you had ****, when you should have been pulling at that one raid, you were having ****. Im talking to you now, but you're not here, probally having ****. See what i mean 
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Metzger
Luke Warm
Joined: 13 Oct 2002
Posts: 193
Location: Fear and Loathing
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Posted: 10/31/03 - 04:52 Post subject:
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I know someone who died of auto-erotic asphyxiation. Can you imagine your parents coming into your room to find you dead in a noose with your d**k still in your hand? Not a good way to go I'd think.
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Tinladar
Sir Postalot
Joined: 03 Jan 2003
Posts: 1448
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Posted: 10/31/03 - 05:54 Post subject:
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let's see... worst pain i had, was trying to see how many times i could do it in one day... was a saturday, and i was bored *grounded from video games* =p so i did the next best thing... * i was 11 years old* i jacked off about 25 times, with no lube, before i rubbed myself raw... then i did it a few more times, and stopped for about 2 weeks while my penix was scabbed over =p
However, that made a very important impact on my life... =p
Kid at school says "I wanna be a porn star and f**k like 30 women every day"
Tinladar says, "I don't, that shit hurts!"
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Fanelien
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 18 Jul 2003
Posts: 2187
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Posted: 10/31/03 - 06:07 Post subject:
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who the f**k uses lube to masturbate?
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Janoth
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 17 Nov 2002
Posts: 3135
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Posted: 10/31/03 - 06:07 Post subject:
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Fractured skull.
Not really
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Tinladar
Sir Postalot
Joined: 03 Jan 2003
Posts: 1448
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Posted: 10/31/03 - 06:12 Post subject:
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/me uses lube to masturbate
especially if i want to go at it again or maybe a couple times afterwards =p
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Fanelien
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 18 Jul 2003
Posts: 2187
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Posted: 10/31/03 - 06:14 Post subject:
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| Tinladar wrote: | /me uses lube to masturbate
especially if i want to go at it again or maybe a couple times afterwards =p |
lube = too much mess.
besides you can masturbate 10 times in one a day easily without getting rubbed raw.
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Janoth
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 17 Nov 2002
Posts: 3135
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Posted: 10/31/03 - 06:14 Post subject:
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dude i have to get off 4 times in a session or i am worse off than before i even jerked it, Lube is ur friend.
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Fanelien
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 18 Jul 2003
Posts: 2187
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Posted: 10/31/03 - 06:16 Post subject:
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f*****g weaklings.
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Janoth
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 17 Nov 2002
Posts: 3135
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Posted: 10/31/03 - 06:17 Post subject:
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| Fanelien wrote: | | f*****g weaklings. |
Don't knock it till u try it
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