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Letter to Dr. Laura concerning the bible and homosexuality

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lauren000
RealPoor Guru
RealPoor Guru


Joined: 21 Oct 2002
Posts: 3510
Location: colorado springs



PostPosted: 12/10/02 - 18:24    Post subject: Letter to Dr. Laura concerning the bible and homosexuality Reply with quote

If you've seen this allready then grats Razz
> > > Dear Dr. Laura:
> > >
> > > Thank you for doing so much to educate people
> > > regarding God's Law. I have
> > > learned a great deal from your show, and try to
> > > share that knowledge with as
> > > many people as I can. When someone tries to defend
> > > the homosexual lifestyle,
> > > for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus
> > > 18:22 clearly states it to
> > > be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some
> > > advice from you, however,
> > > regarding some of the other specific laws and how to
> > > ! follow them.
> > >
> > > 1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I
> > > know it creates a
> > > pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is
> > > my neighbors. They
> > > claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I
> > > smite them?
> > >
> > > 2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned
in
> > > Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would
> > > be a fair price for her?
> > >
> > > 3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman
> > > while she is in her
> > > period of menstrual cleanliness - Lev.15:19-24. The problem is,
> > > how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take
> > > offence.
> > >
> > > 4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess
> > > slaves, both male and female,
> > > provided they are purchased from neighboring
> > > nations. A friend of mine claims
> > > that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians.
> > > Can you clarify? Why can't
> > > I own Canadians?
> > >
> > > 5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath.
Exodus
> > > 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I
> > > morally obligated to kill him
> > > myself?
> > >
> > > 6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
> > > abomination
> > > - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I
> > > don't agree. Can you settle this?
> > >
> > > 7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the
> > > altar of God if I have a
> > > defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear
> > > reading glasses. Does my
> > > vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle
> > > room here?
> > >
> > > 8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the
> > > hair around their temples, even though this is expressly
> > > forbidden by Lev.19:27. How
> > > should they die?
> > >
> > > 9. I know from Lev. 1! 1:6-8 that touching the skin
> > of
> > > a dead pig makes me
> > > unclean, but may I still play football if I wear
> > > gloves?
> > >
> > > 10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two
> > > different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing
> > > garments made of two
> > > different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend).
> > > He also tends to curse
> > > and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we
> > > go to all the trouble of
> > > getting the whole town together to stone them?
> > > -Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we
> > > just burn them to death at a private family affair
> > > like we do with people who
> > > sleep with their in-laws? (Lev.20:14)
> > >
> > > I know you have studied these things extensively, so
> > > I am confident you can
> > > help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's
> > > word is eternal and
> > > unchanging.
> > >
> > > Your devoted disciple and adoring fan,
> > > Jack
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Stryfen
Total Newbie
Total Newbie


Joined: 16 Oct 2002
Posts: 40



PostPosted: 12/10/02 - 19:37    Post subject: Reply with quote

omg, that is the funniest shit i've seen in a while, great f****n letter.

Stryfen
62 Chanter
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Celestra
RealPoor Master of Posts
RealPoor Master of Posts


Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 6929



PostPosted: 12/11/02 - 03:45    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nice haha
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syrox
Rookie
Rookie


Joined: 26 Nov 2002
Posts: 70



PostPosted: 12/11/02 - 12:03    Post subject: Reply with quote

awesome
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lauren000
RealPoor Guru
RealPoor Guru


Joined: 21 Oct 2002
Posts: 3510
Location: colorado springs



PostPosted: 12/13/02 - 16:47    Post subject: Reply with quote

/yawn must sleep
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