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Occulis
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 13293
Location: Moral Relativity Central
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 Posted: 09/09/03 - 16:36 Post subject: How to own a congressman?
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Anyone here go to a lot of political functions? I guess buying politicians is just a matter of being personable and outgoing?
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Guest
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Posted: 09/09/03 - 16:45 Post subject:
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It has nothing to do with being personable and everything to do with being powerful.
Translation.
Being rich.
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Occulis
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 13293
Location: Moral Relativity Central
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Posted: 09/09/03 - 16:54 Post subject:
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I mean once you have the rich part covered. 
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WheresNWS
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 19 Nov 2002
Posts: 6448
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Posted: 09/09/03 - 17:07 Post subject:
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I work for a corporation, therefore I own many congressmen!
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Silvermouse
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 12 Oct 2002
Posts: 11015
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Posted: 09/09/03 - 18:06 Post subject:
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Parties, Dunn, parties + personal info = connections.
You need to know what sports, if any, the person in power likes. You need to know what kind of books he likes, what kind of music, what games he might like to play.
Know these things and then learn them. And then, you need to crash a party he is at. Pretend you're someone else, a caterer or a bartender perhaps, and then change inside.
Once this is done, the schmoozing begins. Find people near him, strike up a conversation, and make the subject something he's interested in so that it perks his ears up:
You to some bored chick you just met: "Gosh, I can't believe how the market has fallen on antique coke bottles."
Senator, ears perking: "Antique coke bottles, you say? I happen to collect those for a hobby!"
You: "wtf, I thought only I had the passion!!!"
Then you can steer the conversation to other things he likes. Remember to laugh and agree with him constantly. At the end, tell him you'd like to do lunch, play golf or sometime see what his office is like.
After that, he's yours!
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Occulis
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 13293
Location: Moral Relativity Central
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Posted: 09/09/03 - 18:28 Post subject:
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[quote="Silvermouse"]Then you can steer the conversation to other things he likes. Remember to laugh and agree with him constantly. At the end, tell him you'd like to do lunch, play golf or sometime see what his office is like.
After that, he's yours![/quote]
IS THIS THE INTRO TO SOME KIND OF PORN
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rosie
Can't Stop Posting
Joined: 21 Aug 2003
Posts: 665
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Posted: 09/09/03 - 18:48 Post subject:
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Much like what Silvermouse said, I'm a supporter of this thought:
It's not what you know nor who you know that counts. It's what you know about who you know.
Anyway, my thinking is a little different. It's more along the lines of whispering "Gosh, I can't believe the market has fallen on preteen male asian prostitutes" while slipping him the picture you took of which he and a naked young asian male are the subjects.
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Occulis
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 13293
Location: Moral Relativity Central
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Posted: 09/09/03 - 18:53 Post subject:
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Okay now my question is: How many congressmen can you influence the votes of?
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rosie
Can't Stop Posting
Joined: 21 Aug 2003
Posts: 665
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Posted: 09/09/03 - 18:58 Post subject:
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That depends on how much time you have to spend stalking congressmen.
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WheresNWS
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 19 Nov 2002
Posts: 6448
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Posted: 09/09/03 - 18:58 Post subject:
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[quote="Dunn"]Okay now my question is: How many congressmen can you influence the votes of?[/quote]
I work for a corporation. Therefore all of them!!!
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Akronn
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 8752
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Posted: 09/09/03 - 19:01 Post subject:
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It ain't who you know, it's who you blow.
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Occulis
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 13293
Location: Moral Relativity Central
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Posted: 09/09/03 - 19:16 Post subject:
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Advice from teens and corporate underlings on how to own politicians is really silly.
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rosie
Can't Stop Posting
Joined: 21 Aug 2003
Posts: 665
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Posted: 09/09/03 - 19:17 Post subject:
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What more would you expect from Realpoor?
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Occulis
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 13293
Location: Moral Relativity Central
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Posted: 09/09/03 - 19:22 Post subject:
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There is good stuff sometimes
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WheresNWS
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 19 Nov 2002
Posts: 6448
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Posted: 09/09/03 - 19:31 Post subject:
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Bow to my corporate ownership of your feeble country!
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Guest
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Posted: 09/09/03 - 21:16 Post subject:
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Or you can do it the cheap and easy way.
Join the NRA!
We own oodles and oodles of slimy politicians.
http://www.nra.org/
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Thuphir
Luke Warm
Joined: 15 Oct 2002
Posts: 206
Location: Baton Rouge
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Posted: 09/09/03 - 23:11 Post subject:
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Kbarr's right, just takes checks. You can tell him how you want him to act in smoke signals for all he cares long as there's fat cash at some point.
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Silvermouse
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 12 Oct 2002
Posts: 11015
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Posted: 09/10/03 - 11:45 Post subject:
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[quote="rosie"]Much like what Silvermouse said, I'm a supporter of this thought:
It's not what you know nor who you know that counts. It's what you know about who you know.
Anyway, my thinking is a little different. It's more along the lines of whispering "Gosh, I can't believe the market has fallen on preteen male asian prostitutes" while slipping him the picture you took of which he and a naked young asian male are the subjects.[/quote]
That's a great idea, Rosie!
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Fabulez
Luke Warm
Joined: 11 Nov 2002
Posts: 437
Location: up in here
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Posted: 09/10/03 - 13:13 Post subject: umm
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It's actually quite simple. You say, "This bill is a really good idea. Your duty to your constituents requires you vote yes on it."
Then you stand up and walk out.
Oh I forgot the part where you leave the suitcase full of cash on the table.
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