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Reebo
Sir Postalot
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 1260
Location: Downtown Miami
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 Posted: 10/27/03 - 16:19 Post subject: Halloween: Trick, Treat or Ignore em?
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So now that i live in my own place (well almost) i need to worry about trick or treaters. Now i live in an apt so i may not get anyone but just in case how much candy should i get?
How many peices do you give out? You give the good shit or cheap candy? What time to you call it a night?
And a story:
My friend use to give out candy until one day he ran out and some kid started screaming and when and got it's parents and they came over and started taking shit for him running out.
Needless to say he told em to f**k off and never gave out candy again. At first he just turned off his lights and hid out but he was tired of that so he came up with a plan.
He bought a giant bowl and put it out in front of his house with a sign that read. I am not home but here is a bowl of candy for the kids please be honest and only take 2 peices.
I made sure to leave enough candy for all the kids but if for some reason the bowl is empty it is because to many people were gready and took more then their share. For this i am sorry.
Well he never put candy in the bowl but it worked and he was never bothered since. Now he doesnt even turn his lights out. And he is never egged or TP'ed.
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Spitulski
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 23 Nov 2002
Posts: 4344
Location: Washington
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Posted: 10/27/03 - 16:22 Post subject:
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I'd take the bowl.
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Banzai
Guest
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Posted: 10/27/03 - 16:23 Post subject:
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I would shit in it.
No candy on Halloween and your shit should get f****d up.
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Maynard
Luke Warm
Joined: 22 Jun 2003
Posts: 192
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Posted: 10/27/03 - 16:24 Post subject:
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| Banzai wrote: | I would shit in it.
No candy on Halloween and your shit should get f****d up. |
Lol I should shit in a bowl and leave it on my doorstep.
No I don't give out candy.
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Bait Masterson
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 3842
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Posted: 10/27/03 - 16:39 Post subject:
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turn out the lights and watch TV
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r00typooh
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 5178
Location: Miami, FL
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Posted: 10/27/03 - 17:01 Post subject:
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lol last year these porch monkeys came to my house and i had all the lights off and there arn't evne any lights on the street i lived on..
i'm inthe back corner where the bedroom was, played warcraft 3 and the doorbell rings.. no problem, i ignore it.
10 seocnds later
ring ring
10 second later
ring ring
10 seconds later
ring ring
so i go to the door, open it up, and they're like TRICK OR TREAT
i say, sorry, i have no candy to give out, that's why my lights are off and i didnt' answer the door.
the kids say, you don't have any candy at all.
i say, no.
they say, not evne something little.
i say, sorry, i must get back to playing warcraft now. bye.
::slams door::
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Spitulski
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 23 Nov 2002
Posts: 4344
Location: Washington
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Posted: 10/27/03 - 17:05 Post subject:
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I open my door and go TRICK OR TREAT, and then take some candy from their bag and close the door.
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r00typooh
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 5178
Location: Miami, FL
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Posted: 10/27/03 - 18:09 Post subject:
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LOL SPIT, YOU SURE TRICKED THOSE KIDS!
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NinjaBurger
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 01 Sep 2003
Posts: 2800
Location: St. Louis
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Posted: 10/27/03 - 19:05 Post subject:
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I think we should take some trick-or-treating tips from our friends at
LANDOVER BAPTIST!
1. Wait for unsaved children to come to your door and hurl a bucket full of warm lamb's blood (goat or dog blood can be substituted later in the night if you run out) all over their hair and faces. Shout - "I plead the power of the Blood of the Perfect Lamb over you! Take that! FOUL DEMON!"
2. Dress up as the freshly resurrected Christ. To make your costume as realistic as possible: (a) use your mother's sewing needles to poke holes in your hands and stomach; (b) wear bluish makeup to look like someone who has been dead and lying around in a cave for a couple of days; and (c) stuff five pounds of week-old hamburger meat in your pockets to smell like rotting flesh. Sneak up behind people, grab them, turn them around, look them in they eyes and scream, "Why have you forsaken me!" And then slap them very hard across the face with a palm-full of rancid hamburger meat. It will usually scare the living Hell out of little children, and they are sure to remember their first experience with Jesus for the rest of their pathetic lives.
3. Offer to exchange your giant treat bag with the small bag of an unsaved child - when he gets home, surprise! BIBLES!
4. Paint your face black, dress up in a flashy suit, and wander around a predominantly colored neighborhood - talking Ebonics into a cell phone about how the Lord Jesus saved you – in a voice loud enough to wake the sleeping winos! This doesn't have to be just for Halloween. You can try this anytime. When they ask what you are talking about, simply reply, "Yo, yo, yo wazzup? I be off da chain for Jesus! I be pimpin' for da playa JC on the fly with mad props." Then give them one of those arthritic hand signals the Bloods give their friends, the Crips. Most likely, they will persecute you for righteousness sake.
5. Vincent Price may have thought he was scary, but nothing touches the Lord when it comes to the gruesome and macabre! With baby dolls and ketchup, use your front lawn to stage a realistic reenactment of when the Lord got jealous of Samarians worshiping a rival god and ordered that their children be hacked to pieces and their pregnant women experience the Lord's abortion-by-sword calling card. (Hosea 13:16).
6. The only costume you should be wearing is "The Holy Ghost Halloween Costume." Jesus makes it quite clear in Matthew Chapter 12:31 that there is one unforgivable sin, and that is blasphemy of the Holy Ghost. So, remember not to say anything unflattering about yourself while in this costume – or you will instantly damn yourself.
7. Feed almonds to your Christian family dog for the two months leading up to Satan's birthday, Halloween. Follow him around with a pooper scooper. Carefully place the dog-filth in Almond Joy candy wrappers. Sealed in plastic, also insert a Bible verse. At the end of the Bible verse, in very small type, provide a warning not to eat the "candy." That way, wicked children who choose candy over the Word of God will get exactly what they deserve!
8. When trick-or-treaters come to your door, tell them you are no different than the Lord Jesus when it comes to playing host to sinners. Then, take them into your basement (where the heater is set as hot as it will go) and torture them.
9. One of the best ways to witness on Halloween is by banging on a door, running into the living room and declaring that you will not leave the home of the unsaved until they sit and listen to you read an entire Chick Tract!
10. Place a burning cross in your front yard, dress your kids up as ghosts, form a circle around the cross, and sing hymns all night.
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compusmack
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 15 Oct 2002
Posts: 6354
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Posted: 10/27/03 - 19:21 Post subject:
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I'm in the same boat, first halloween in my new house.
I bought like 4 bags of candy and im gonna keep my porch light on and the door open until the candy runs out..
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hitachi
RealPoor Sensei
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 1507
Location: Maryland
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Posted: 10/27/03 - 19:29 Post subject:
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YOU ARE A GOOD MAN MY FRIEND!
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Akronn
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 8752
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Posted: 10/27/03 - 19:32 Post subject:
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Candy is dandy, but liquor if quicker.
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Zwadrich
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 12 Oct 2002
Posts: 5015
Location: The Netherlands
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Posted: 10/27/03 - 19:39 Post subject:
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| Spitulski wrote: | | I open my door and go TRICK OR TREAT, and then take some candy from their bag and close the door. |
hahaha
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Shanda
Luke Warm
Joined: 14 Oct 2002
Posts: 181
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Posted: 10/27/03 - 20:27 Post subject:
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The amount of candy you need really depends on where you live - in an apt, you could get a fair number of kids.
I generally buy four bags - I never buy crap candy but two bags are usually the large, variety pack bags that have all kinds of stuff in them. I make sure the other bags I get are stuff my family likes or that I can bring to a gaming session or two, that way I don't get stuck with a bunch of candy I can't get rid of =)
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Silvermouse
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 12 Oct 2002
Posts: 11015
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Posted: 10/27/03 - 20:46 Post subject:
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| Banzai wrote: | I would shit in it.
No candy on Halloween and your shit should get f****d up. |
Bingo for Banzai! Best to keep the kids on your side with lots of good cany, because when they get older and start slashing tires and raping they will remember your goodness and passover your house much like God's Angel in Egypt.
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GruntingCod
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 6399
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Posted: 10/27/03 - 20:46 Post subject:
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| Spitulski wrote: | | I open my door and go TRICK OR TREAT, and then take some candy from their bag and close the door. |
AHAHAHAHAH!!! I am so f*****g going to do that.
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Yabden
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 13 Oct 2002
Posts: 2485
Location: Ohio
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Posted: 10/27/03 - 20:58 Post subject:
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this year me and about 10 other friends all rented full gorilla costumes and are going to run through the trick or treat area making gorilla sounds and whatnot. Hopefully should be pretty fun.
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Fanelien
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 18 Jul 2003
Posts: 2187
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Posted: 10/27/03 - 23:20 Post subject:
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I run around with a crowbar beating up kids for candy on halloween.
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FoShizzo
RealPoor Sensei
Joined: 18 Jan 2003
Posts: 1852
Location: Oly, Washington
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Posted: 10/28/03 - 10:04 Post subject:
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hey, you need to have candy, im only 16 and s god knows im gogin tickor treating, whats wrong with free munchies so put some out for the older people who need it 
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Silvermouse
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 12 Oct 2002
Posts: 11015
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Posted: 10/28/03 - 16:12 Post subject:
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This year Halloween fell on a weekend,
me and Geto Boys were trick or treatin,
robbin little kids for bags,
til this old man got behind our ass.
So we speeded up the pace,
took a look back and he was right before our face.
He'd be in for a squabble no doubt,
so I swung and hit the n***a in his mouth.
He was goin down we figured,
but this wasn't no ordinary n****r!
He musta stood 6 or 7 feet,
now that's a n***a I'd be seein in my sleep!
So we triple teamed on em,
droppin them muthafuckin b's on em.
The more I swung the more blood flew,
then he disappeared and my boys disappeared too.
Then I felt just like a fiend,
it wasn't even close to Halloween.
It was dark as f**k on the street,
my hands were all bloody from punchin on the concrete.
God damn, Homey!
My mind is playin tricks on me...
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