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median
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 16 Oct 2002
Posts: 2183
Location: Hamillton, Canada
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 Posted: 03/07/04 - 01:01 Post subject: Funniest "been kicked out of bar stories"
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Alright.
My friends band was playing at this place called "the underground" in Hamilton, canada. So i went to check it out.
They were opening for a band called White Cowbell Oklahoma, a joke band from toronto that dresses up like cowboys and play really crazy rock. There is about 8 members in this band and they were doing some crazy shit like shooting sparks into the crowd with a grinder and the bass player whipped his d**k out trying to endorse the offical white cowbell "c**k rag"
So... i was pretty drunk (as must of the "been kicked out of bar" stories go. And one of the singers, a big black chick jumps on the amp in front of me and starts to shake her ass in my face.
I dont know what came over me, or what the f**k i was thinking , but I smacked her ass.
So she starts saying " WHO WHOA WHOA this mothafukka just smacked my ass, stop the music"
I stand in amazement, could this really be happening?
"GET HIM BOYS"
5 cowboys put down their guitars and run at me, and grab me on stage.
"Now ladies". she says to the crowd, " you know what u do when a guy smacks you in the ass, you smack him in the FACE" ....she smacks me, im still shocked , but for some reason smiling.
"NOW TAKE OFF HIS CLOTHES" she yells, and they start to rough me up and take off my shoes, jersey me. I go struggle to get out, but there are too many of them.
The owner of the bar breaks it up, and they haul me out of the pub by my arms and legs with my shirt over my face, and throw me out onto the sidewalk.
My friends come out and deliver my shoes to me.
the end
This happened in november.
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Paden
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 23 Oct 2002
Posts: 9362
Location: North CAROLINA!
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Posted: 03/07/04 - 01:18 Post subject:
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and ya did not even throw 1 punch?
damn canadian
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BlingBling
Toomuchtimeonhands
Joined: 20 Dec 2002
Posts: 944
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Posted: 03/07/04 - 01:22 Post subject:
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paden and i wouldnt of slapped that black b*****s ass in the first place
represent the south
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median
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 16 Oct 2002
Posts: 2183
Location: Hamillton, Canada
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Posted: 03/07/04 - 01:22 Post subject:
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| Paden wrote: | and ya did not even throw 1 punch?
damn canadian |
im sure you get attacked by gangs of cowboys quite frequently where you live, but for me , it was a shock.
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khrath
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 8750
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Posted: 03/07/04 - 01:33 Post subject:
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If those guys had really been from oklahoma, you'd of been missing a few teeth
rednecks dont f**k around when they're drunk
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ATM Banana
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 02 Jan 2003
Posts: 8575
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Posted: 03/07/04 - 01:46 Post subject:
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i woulda puked on them... that woulda got them off you.
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khrath
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 8750
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Posted: 03/07/04 - 01:51 Post subject:
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<img src=http://www.allahpundit.com/KimJongIl1.jpg>
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Manuva
Banned
Joined: 12 Oct 2002
Posts: 2536
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Posted: 03/07/04 - 02:06 Post subject:
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| Khrath wrote: | If those guys had really been from oklahoma, you'd of been missing a few teeth
rednecks dont f**k around when they're drunk |
They also wouldn't have been runnin with a black chick!
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ATM Banana
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 02 Jan 2003
Posts: 8575
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Posted: 03/07/04 - 02:12 Post subject:
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or if you had really bad diarhea, and you started to shit yourself... that would get them off of you.
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atarom
Dalai Lama of RealPoor
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 16398
Location: 375th st. Y
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Posted: 03/07/04 - 07:44 Post subject:
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lol one time my underage friend (she had a fake id) reached over the counter and poured herself a beer.
we got kicked out pretty quick when a regular reported her to the bertender who was changing a keg at the time...
i had no idea... lol i was over playing pool.
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Buntz
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 13 Oct 2002
Posts: 3342
Location: Banner Elk, N.C.
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Posted: 03/07/04 - 09:13 Post subject:
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| Khrath wrote: | If those guys had really been from oklahoma, you'd of been missing a few teeth
rednecks dont f**k around when they're drunk |
Very true.
Story wasn't funny btw...
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Herbgotti
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 14 Oct 2002
Posts: 2110
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Posted: 03/07/04 - 11:55 Post subject:
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i'll keep it simple kidz ..
Shrooms + bar = kick out ..
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Isriam
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 15 Oct 2002
Posts: 2721
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Posted: 03/07/04 - 14:46 Post subject:
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i got kicked out of a strip club because my gf started dancing for me and guys were giving her dollars 
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Finigan
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 3817
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Posted: 03/07/04 - 15:32 Post subject:
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| Isriam wrote: | | i got kicked out of a strip club because my gf started dancing for me and guys were giving her dollars |
...to stop dancing?
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WhiteWidow
Toomuchtimeonhands
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 975
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Posted: 03/07/04 - 17:43 Post subject:
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people are so disgusting.
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Okami
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 2242
Location: The new board
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Posted: 03/07/04 - 18:50 Post subject:
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move to the US.
Then you could sue for **** harrassment for the booty shake, then again for assault when they touched you.
Then sue the bar for supporting them and kicking you out, and being insensitive to the emotional trauma you just went through.
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NickPSH
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 5680
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Posted: 03/07/04 - 18:53 Post subject:
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| Okami wrote: | move to the US.
Then you could sue for **** harrassment for the booty shake, then again for assault when they touched you.
Then sue the bar for supporting them and kicking you out, and being insensitive to the emotional trauma you just went through. |
Actually, quite the contrary! She was attacked when he physically assaulted her. (Ie. if a 12 year old girl threw a piece of chalk at a boy and he punched her in the face he is defending himself)
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Okami
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 2242
Location: The new board
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Posted: 03/07/04 - 18:54 Post subject:
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but you forget, it's the US.
Maybe he can get in on a "baiting" or "entrapment" deal
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Sabathius
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 2179
Location: San Angelo
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Posted: 03/08/04 - 09:41 Post subject:
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too many cuz I did teh kickin
there was a time when I kicked a girl out for bein drunk and takin off her clothes, HEY I HAD TO MAN!, and she kept whining that she was with the dj. ya know that annoying song.... Excuse me Mr Bouncer, i'm with the dj.
It sounded like that. So I shot her. In the face. With a bazooka.
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atarom
Dalai Lama of RealPoor
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 16398
Location: 375th st. Y
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Posted: 03/08/04 - 09:46 Post subject:
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wif a buzooka?!? OMGZ LOL that must have been messy!
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Occulis
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 13293
Location: Moral Relativity Central
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Posted: 03/08/04 - 11:22 Post subject:
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I'm pretty well-behaved. Never been thrown out of a bar. Have been f****d up on every drug (except stupid shit like coke, crack , and heroin - will never try those) and never done anything violent or worthy of getting kicked out of a bar.
However! I have been thrown out of a LAN party.
"Are you Jason...?"
"Yeah, why?"
"I'm sorry. I don't mean to be a d**k, but we really don't want you here. Please leave without causing any trouble."
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atarom
Dalai Lama of RealPoor
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 16398
Location: 375th st. Y
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Posted: 03/08/04 - 17:51 Post subject:
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| Occulis wrote: | I'm pretty well-behaved. Never been thrown out of a bar. Have been f****d up on every drug (except stupid shit like coke, crack , and heroin - will never try those) and never done anything violent or worthy of getting kicked out of a bar.
However! I have been thrown out of a LAN party.
"Are you Jason...?"
"Yeah, why?"
"I'm sorry. I don't mean to be a d**k, but we really don't want you here. Please leave without causing any trouble." |
lol you KNOW you're a real hardcore n**d when you get thrown out of lan parties.
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sinrakin
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 7044
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Posted: 03/08/04 - 17:54 Post subject:
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so why would you get thrown out of a LAN party? Being too good? Too bad? Hax0ring everyone's PC? Using up everyone's bandwidth downloading porn?
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Occulis
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 13293
Location: Moral Relativity Central
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Posted: 03/08/04 - 18:06 Post subject:
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Apparently 10 years before the LAN party I threatened the guy via BBS email or something. I didn't remember him, or it, but apparently the incident scarred him for life. TrueParadox claims I did/said a bunch of shit to him too but I don't remember any of it. 
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Guest
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Posted: 03/08/04 - 18:20 Post subject:
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I was in a Italy, in a bar called "Johnnys". It was mainly for American military off base. The Italians just won some major soccer championship, or some shit, and were going nuts in the streets. Lots of shots fired, everyone driving around like loons in their tiny, tiny, tiny, go cart like cars.
During all this, someone put a pipe bomb in front of the place an cooked it off. Poof! No more front door, window. Very noisy and dusty, thats all I remember besides everyone cracking up while someone ran out the hole with the peanut machine.
Then they made us all leave.
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Zonk
Toomuchtimeonhands
Joined: 02 Jan 2003
Posts: 976
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Posted: 03/08/04 - 18:37 Post subject:
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ive been kicked out of many bars im not real proud of it though.
I got locked in our bus one time at a Jimmy Buffet Concert though for drinking too much Tequilla and punching people.
I feel ashamed about it though its not somthing you wanna brag about when you black out and dont know what the f**k your doing. It might be the first few times but after a while u realize you have some problems.
Anyway for a rule i have for not getting retarted drunk and violent i just drink beer and no liquor and i will never get that wasted.
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Xthos
Can't Stop Posting
Joined: 09 Nov 2002
Posts: 550
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Posted: 03/08/04 - 18:59 Post subject:
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You almost stared in the remake of Deliverance.
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Secret Seranni
Luke Warm
Joined: 01 May 2003
Posts: 322
Location: Scotland
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Posted: 03/08/04 - 22:41 Post subject:
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Ive only been thrown out like 3 times...
Once i sat down on the dance floor coz the world was spinning, next thinng i know i am outside with 2 bouncers holding me up. Turns out i passed out and threw up over the dance floorr.. although i have no recollection of it!
Another time, me and one of my friends, again intoxicated, leaned against a fire exit, and fell thru it. They let us off with that.. but i got booted out when i threw a glass of water over my shoulder =/ ( someone told me it was vodka.. of course i was dissapointed!)
And this one time, i was steaming drunk in the student union, getting some money out from the cash machine.. got thrown out for no good reason. But the next day i realised i had withdrawn like £250 =/
Oh and the time the bar staff found our secret supplies underneath our table. Funny how subtlety goes out the window as alcohol intake increases.
Im normally a good girl tho!
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wellspoken
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 01 Feb 2003
Posts: 7137
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Posted: 03/08/04 - 23:36 Post subject: Re: Funniest "been kicked out of bar stories"
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| median wrote: | Alright.
My friends band was playing at this place called "the underground" in Hamilton, canada. So i went to check it out.
They were opening for a band called White Cowbell Oklahoma, a joke band from toronto that dresses up like cowboys and play really crazy rock. There is about 8 members in this band and they were doing some crazy shit like shooting sparks into the crowd with a grinder and the bass player whipped his d**k out trying to endorse the offical white cowbell "c**k rag"
So... i was pretty drunk (as must of the "been kicked out of bar" stories go. And one of the singers, a big black chick jumps on the amp in front of me and starts to shake her ass in my face.
I dont know what came over me, or what the f**k i was thinking , but I smacked her ass.
So she starts saying " WHO WHOA WHOA this mothafukka just smacked my ass, stop the music"
I stand in amazement, could this really be happening?
"GET HIM BOYS"
5 cowboys put down their guitars and run at me, and grab me on stage.
"Now ladies". she says to the crowd, " you know what u do when a guy smacks you in the ass, you smack him in the FACE" ....she smacks me, im still shocked , but for some reason smiling.
"NOW TAKE OFF HIS CLOTHES" she yells, and they start to rough me up and take off my shoes, jersey me. I go struggle to get out, but there are too many of them.
The owner of the bar breaks it up, and they haul me out of the pub by my arms and legs with my shirt over my face, and throw me out onto the sidewalk.
My friends come out and deliver my shoes to me.
the end
This happened in november. |
Thats what you get for trying to cop a feel.
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Tex
Luke Warm
Joined: 18 Feb 2004
Posts: 256
Location: Austin
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Posted: 03/08/04 - 23:56 Post subject:
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Fantastic
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