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Tiluvas
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 19 Oct 2002
Posts: 2355
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 Posted: 01/04/06 - 02:27 Post subject: Etiquette Question
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So, I've been seeing this girl for awhile now. 9 months to be exact. She is on the pill, and has been since we started having ****. We only use condoms during that time of the month, because I don't want my d**k to get bloody.
I've always finished inside of her. Now, the only problem with this, is after I finish inside her, her vagina tastes and smells kind of funny for a day or two, even if she were to take a shower. She says it's because it's my juices slowly seeping out that causes an acidic taste and smell.
We are planning a weekend of **** in a few weeks, and I really enjoy performing oral **** on her. Not when it is kind of stinky, though. So, what I'm thinking of doing is pulling out and spraying all over her. Now, I've never done that before, and I'm not sure how she is going to react.
So, my question is, do I just pull out when I'm about to finish, or should I tell her first? If I don't tell her, where do I finish? Do I just c*m on her stomach, or should I just go all the way and aim for her face and her hair?
Some comments and advice would be appreciated. I really want her to enjoy our **** weekend. She just bought a new outfit and I'm buying some silk material to tie her down to the bedpost as well. We have a lot of stuff planned.
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Spiritz
RealPoor Sensei
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 1969
Location: Huntington Beach, CA
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Posted: 01/04/06 - 02:41 Post subject:
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Get barbed wire to tie her down with and dump load on her face. Specifically her eyes, when they are open if possible.
In all seriousness, if she isn't a dirty person there is a possibility your body chemistry doesn't mesh with hers. That could be the cause of the smell.
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Venkmen
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 12 Oct 2002
Posts: 2260
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Posted: 01/04/06 - 02:43 Post subject:
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Wow! Just Wow!!!1
Of all places to ask, you have to ask here?
Well if you want to be polite then you ask first.
I suggest this approach though.....
Don't tell her anything about it. Hit it from behind and just when you feel it c*****g on spit on her back a few times. When she turns around to see what the hell just happened BLAST HER IN THE FACE and yell "SURPRISE!!!!!!"
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Venkmen
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 12 Oct 2002
Posts: 2260
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Posted: 01/04/06 - 02:46 Post subject:
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| Spiritz wrote: | | In all seriousness, if she isn't a dirty person there is a possibility your body chemistry doesn't mesh with hers. That could be the cause of the smell. |
And yeah this could be what is causing that.
Might I recommend....
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Devook
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 31 Mar 2004
Posts: 2374
Location: Ypsilanti or Troy, MI
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Posted: 01/04/06 - 02:49 Post subject:
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Just switch to the a*****e right before shooting. She still gets the joy associated with having spooge inside her, while you benefit from not making a messy smelly man-chowder-vagina-juice stew that you'll have to deal with later.
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Yellow Journalist
RealPoor Sensei
Joined: 20 Oct 2002
Posts: 1973
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Posted: 01/04/06 - 02:50 Post subject:
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Lol ...........
ok wheres Khrath at???????? 
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FockTop
Sir Postalot
Joined: 23 Dec 2004
Posts: 1055
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Posted: 01/04/06 - 02:56 Post subject:
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I think her body defend itself from your semens...maybe her body try to warn her that having babies with you would be very bad for our society so her body use a toxic agent to counter and kill all your semens.
And the smell is just the smell of war, really there is a huge battle going on inside her, rooting semen can smell pretty bad even more if dead for a few days...
I warn you if you keep c*****g inside her your semen may advance and win the battle, hell she may even start to have the same smell comming out of her mouth soon.
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Overon
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 14 Oct 2002
Posts: 3602
Location: PLANE OF PIXIES
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Posted: 01/04/06 - 03:00 Post subject:
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you know what would be really cool?
hold yourself at the point of orgasm .. but dont do it ..
instead, pull out and then taunt her
be like "i could do it any second!!"
and aim it at her face
if she runs away .. chase her
if she doesn't .. $$$$
of course there is a third option .. her being too disoriented to realize whats going on .. but id say thats $$ too
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Devook
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 31 Mar 2004
Posts: 2374
Location: Ypsilanti or Troy, MI
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Posted: 01/04/06 - 03:01 Post subject:
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lol, semens
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Overon
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 14 Oct 2002
Posts: 3602
Location: PLANE OF PIXIES
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Posted: 01/04/06 - 03:03 Post subject:
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Frax
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 8489
Location: Fuck yoiu fucking fuckers
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Posted: 01/04/06 - 03:12 Post subject:
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| FockTop wrote: | I think her body defend itself from your semens...maybe her body try to warn her that having babies with you would be very bad for our society so her body use a toxic agent to counter and kill all your semens.
And the smell is just the smell of war, really there is a huge battle going on inside her, rooting semen can smell pretty bad even more if dead for a few days...
I warn you if you keep c*****g inside her your semen may advance and win the battle, hell she may even start to have the same smell comming out of her mouth soon. |
lol
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merdocc
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 2038
Location: Pasadena Ca
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Posted: 01/04/06 - 04:02 Post subject:
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Do it doggy then fake an orgasm, after she turns around pop in her face then have a few friends bust in with cameras. I don't know exactly what move that's called but i'm sure it will be funny.
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Rennol
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 3741
Location: Charleston, IL
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Posted: 01/04/06 - 04:34 Post subject:
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Just spray all over, bonus points for making a swimming pool out of her belly button
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That Lumberg Guy
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 23 Jun 2005
Posts: 3790
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Posted: 01/04/06 - 08:20 Post subject:
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Drink pineapple juice so your c*m tastes great!
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shinja mayoke
Luke Warm
Joined: 04 Jan 2003
Posts: 434
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Posted: 01/04/06 - 09:29 Post subject:
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Just tell her what you told us. Honesty ftw in a case like this. No?
Just pull out unexpectedly on her belly, dont ask for permission on something this basic, she will think you are a p***y.
Its like asking 'can i kiss you' instead of just going for it, girls dont like that.
ONE IMPORTANT THING tho... do not wipe your d**k off on her teddy bear, this is what they call in the south 'evidence'.
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Tamrissa
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 29 Nov 2002
Posts: 7100
Location: at my computer
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Posted: 01/04/06 - 13:40 Post subject:
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ya know i doubt the authenticity of this question, but .. i couldnt help thinking about something along these lines that i heard on doctor ruth or sunday **** with sue show.. i forget which.
there is a **** transmitted disease two actually tht are little known and even littler when talked about tht makes certain body parts stanky.
if she never had this problem before with an ex or something then that makes you the carrier and you will both need to be treated i think its a simple antibotic or something i wasnt paying much attention to the show i was laughing at his wording and docter sue saying stanky cootch. it was rather funny at that time.
seriously have her go to a doctor go with her describe the problem of the stank and they will either suggest the pap for her diagnose it from that or just start you on the treatment.
just hope they dont give you the male cotton swab up the shaft thing lol my friend scott had to have that when a chick gave him a yeast infection and he walked funny for days and complained that it hurt like bloody hell!
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Manuva
Banned
Joined: 12 Oct 2002
Posts: 2536
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Posted: 01/04/06 - 13:51 Post subject:
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Yeah you need to ask her if that shit's happened before. Someone might have something. Get checked. It's not bad. It's just a little metal rod jammed down your peehole.
As for the question, just spooge all over her stomach. She'll love it.
And stop being a p***y. If you're gonna f**k her on the rag do it all viking style and get bloody. That's what earning the red wings is all about man!
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Spiritz
RealPoor Sensei
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 1969
Location: Huntington Beach, CA
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Posted: 01/04/06 - 14:55 Post subject:
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| Tamrissa wrote: | | just hope they dont give you the male cotton swab up the shaft |
The single most painful thing in the world. I had a urinary (sp?) track infection and they did that to get for STD's, you know... "just in case" and f**k I swear a week later I could still feel it like they left it there in my pee hole.
Because we're not talking a small swab here, no no, we're talking the Q-Tips that Shrek uses.
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FockTop
Sir Postalot
Joined: 23 Dec 2004
Posts: 1055
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Posted: 01/04/06 - 15:03 Post subject:
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| Spiritz wrote: | | Tamrissa wrote: | | just hope they dont give you the male cotton swab up the shaft |
The single most painful thing in the world. I had a urinary (sp?) track infection and they did that to get for STD's, you know... "just in case" and f**k I swear a week later I could still feel it like they left it there in my pee hole.
Because we're not talking a small swab here, no no, we're talking the Q-Tips that Shrek uses. |
Thanks to you I now look foward passing such a test.
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Manuva
Banned
Joined: 12 Oct 2002
Posts: 2536
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Posted: 01/04/06 - 15:32 Post subject:
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When I got mine they used a little metal road about 1/6th the diameter of a q-tip...but it still hurt like a m**********r
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Ishmael
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 03 Jun 2005
Posts: 4446
Location: The US of A
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Posted: 01/04/06 - 16:22 Post subject:
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The end of this thread makes me all queezy and sad irl, jesus christ. 
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Yellow Journalist
RealPoor Sensei
Joined: 20 Oct 2002
Posts: 1973
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Tiluvas
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 19 Oct 2002
Posts: 2355
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Posted: 01/04/06 - 22:51 Post subject:
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We've both been tested, and we were both clean. She's my only partner, and she has only been with one other guy before, who never went down on her. That said, it's only stinky after I finish inside of her. I mean hell, she can run around the park for 5 hours and it still smells good, but if I c*m inside her the next day it's kinda stinky.
Tam, deep down inside there is an honest question. I just have to sugarcoat it because I am too insecure to ask it directly.
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Finigan
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 3817
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Posted: 01/04/06 - 23:22 Post subject:
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| Tiluvas wrote: |
Tam, deep down inside there is an honest question. I just have to sugarcoat it because I am too insecure to ask it directly. |
LOL, insecure? Ur on the internets, nobody knows who you are. I guess the whole f*****g little boys thing is to hide your insecurity.
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Tamrissa
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 29 Nov 2002
Posts: 7100
Location: at my computer
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Posted: 01/04/06 - 23:27 Post subject:
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| Quote: | Vaginosis is a common vaginal infection caused by bacteria which are common in the vagina, but have “overgrown” due to changes in the acid/alkaline balance of the vagina. None of these have serious long-term complications; they are regarded as “nuisance infections”, although they may be quite uncomfortable. You may want to see your doctor who will probably take a smear to confirm their diagnosis. Most doctors take one look at, or smell the discharge and they know what it is.
Normally the vagina is acidic, this keeps these bacteria or spores under control. But if a female is on the Birth Control Pill, Patch or Nuva Ring, the hormones cause the acid/alkaline balance to shift. If she douches, (washes out the vagina after **** or after a period) the vagina becomes neutral and vulnerable. Antibiotics kill off the normal vaginal bacteria, almost guaranteeing a yeast or other infection. Menopause may also change the cervical mucous so that she is vulnerable to infection. Bacterial vaginosis can be **** transmitted.
I tend to think of Vaginosis as the umbrella under which there are numerous infections such as yeast and Gardnerella,
Symptoms vary - yeast produces a thick, white, creamy odourless discharge that leaves her genitals red, raw, sore, itchy and urination may be painful. Trichomonas and Gardnerella have a thin, yellow, grey-green, foamy, mucous discharge that smells like dead fish. No mistaking that one.
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tell her to go get rechecked and tell the doctor, no matter how embarrassed she may be.. about this after **** discharge smell problem and get swabbed, if it is something minor that can be cleared up quickly then your problems are over after treatment is done (though you will probably need to be treated as well so there isnt a reoccurance).
now, if it is caused by her birth control unbalancing of the hormones or created by a chemical reaction to you.. well now then there may be a bigger problem like needing to change form of birth control or you actually having to use a condom and not exchange fluids down below.
seriously, she needs to go have a pap talk to her gyno and make sure that this isnt something more serious cause if her pills causing a hormonal imbalance she needs to get off it asap.
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atarom
Dalai Lama of RealPoor
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 16398
Location: 375th st. Y
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Posted: 01/05/06 - 04:26 Post subject:
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lol til you're the best.
around.
and no one's ever gonna keep you down.
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Spiritz
RealPoor Sensei
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 1969
Location: Huntington Beach, CA
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Posted: 01/05/06 - 04:31 Post subject:
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It's body chemistry, deal with it or get a new ho.
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principessa
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 3149
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Posted: 01/05/06 - 07:08 Post subject:
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| Spiritz wrote: | | Tamrissa wrote: | | just hope they dont give you the male cotton swab up the shaft |
The single most painful thing in the world. I had a urinary (sp?) track infection and they did that to get for STD's, you know... "just in case" and f**k I swear a week later I could still feel it like they left it there in my pee hole.
Because we're not talking a small swab here, no no, we're talking the Q-Tips that Shrek uses. |
I was just thinking of that scene in Deadwood last season with Al and his "p*****g problem"....O U C H!
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