|
|
| Author |
Message |
Xenden
RealPoor Sensei
Joined: 08 Jan 2003
Posts: 1532
|
 Posted: 10/02/04 - 00:55 Post subject: Drinking... Fun for the whole family. Yay!
|
|
|
I'm 19 and i'm too f*****g old for this shit.
REWIND to 2 weekends ago (BAH im such a sloppy f**k)
I'm up at my buddy's dorm room at his college in Ottawa, and well since I don't smoke weed anymore, what the hell? I'll do the drinking thing. Sounds like fun. Right?
Yeah sure. So I decide to drink the better part of a 26er of rum in 15 minutes, and hey it wasn't too bad. Yanno, it was kind of fun. Till I wake up the next day and 12 odd people I don't know are like... "Haha! Hey buddy, how you doin?"
Then they proceed to the part where they tell me all the ridiculous shit I did, from passing out in the bathroom for 2 hours, to patrolling the dorms in only my boxers with my c**k hanging out.
Ho. Hee. Haha! I can live with that, what the hell.
Last weekend...
My other friends dorms, 6 hours the other way at Guelph.
I decide, hey. What the hell. I don't smoke, so... You guessed it, I may as well f*****g drink. Good idea? Bad idea. Initially I was like, jeez Dave, take it easy there champ, not every b***h likes i hard and fast, sometimes you got to f**k her slow. That worked. For 10 minutes, until the booze kicked in and I decided hey what the hell, I can take this bottle - It don't got shit on me.
So I wake up the next day, in the lounge. On the tenth floor of some random rez building, with a pile of wet clothes beside me. My clothes; the ones I was wearing yesterday. Hmmm. I've got new clothes on? Weird. I stand up, and almost fall down. My knee is visibly mangled on the front, and I cant extend it at all, or flex it in any way. Pain ensues. But yanno, I was still a little woozy from that rum, so I was like "Enh," let's find my friend. Later that day: I can't put any weight on my leg, my knee is so f****d. Apparently I slammed the front part on concrete at least 5 times. and I guess somewhere along the way I twisted it horribly. I also have softball size bruises all over my body. "Hey. I got drunk, I can live with it." Then the stories come. Apparently I was bitchslapping people, trying to fight someone one second, and the next I was their best friend. Saying I loved people, then calling them f*****g b*****s to their face. I also became real unresponsive at one point for like 5 hours (Lozzle yay X3) where they my 2 friends had to drag my dead weight through the halls, into elevators, and into a shower to wake my ass up. (Almost 6'4'', 220 btw) My friend told me he had to get on top of me in the tub to keep me from getting up, and i was still lifting him with my beer muscles of doom.
They had to dry me, dress me, and haul my ass up more stairs. How fun for them.
I felt like a f*****g retard and, justly so. Most people didn't give a f**k, cause hey thats what people do in College/University, they get shitfaced.
Fast forward to today. Knee still isn't 100%, and i've been dodging the doc all week. My friend calls me up at 3:13pm, and tells me she is drunk and asks me if I want to join in the fun. I'm thinking, what kind of trouble are me and this 5'2'', 110lb girl gonna into in my basement? I'll be fine, and with a shrug and a poop we are on our way to being solidly drunk. But I learned my lesson. No more full bottles for me. I only drank like 1/3rd of the bottle. Nothing can happen right? Wrong, because for some reason I thought it would be hilarious to give a random chair a thai low kick, which ended with me sitting with my head down on said chair for 45 seconds signaling to her that she should not talk. I'm still drunk at this point so after a little while I was good to go. As the evening progresses and I stop drinking my foot starts to hurt. A lot.
Now: I can't even shift my weight on my right foot it hurts so bad.
Real long story short, i'll be killing two birds with one stone tomorrow as I go see the doc about a broken/fractured foot and my knee. (Same leg) Drinking sucks donkey c**k, and I have no interest (at this moment and probably the immediate future) in said activity.
P.S. My friend actually attacked me and initiated a grappling match towards the end of the night and I still managed to swiftly end it with a beautiful kneebar. Pain is temporary, pride is forever.
P.P.S.
Here's a pre-emptive f**k you to:
1. The inevitable jackasses who respond with "d*****s." Or "Retard, don't drink so much," or any combination of insults and advice, that I really don't care to hear.
2. Old people
3. Goraz
(In no particular order.)
BTW anyone care to share their drinking stories? Just cause.
EDIT: For sloppy fuckedness
Last edited by Xenden on 10/02/04 - 01:19; edited 3 times in total
|
|
|
Back to top
|
|
|
|
 |
Zab
Sir Postalot
Joined: 07 Mar 2003
Posts: 1222
|
|
Posted: 10/02/04 - 00:57 Post subject:
|
|
|
|
I only read the first few lines but wouldn't you rewind to 3 weekends ago instead of fast forwarding?
|
|
|
Back to top
|
|
|
|
|
Xenden
RealPoor Sensei
Joined: 08 Jan 2003
Posts: 1532
|
|
Posted: 10/02/04 - 00:58 Post subject:
|
|
|
|
I'm still a bit drunk. I am sorry ;/
|
|
|
Back to top
|
|
|
|
|
Sabalo
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 20 Oct 2002
Posts: 2162
Location: Olympia, Washington
|
|
Posted: 10/02/04 - 01:05 Post subject:
|
|
|
i dont think drinking til you're blacked out and doin stupid shit to be very fun.. i can tank a fifth of capt mos easily and still hold my ground.. i dont like being THAT f****d up... i did that once and regret something i wish never happened. 9not it wasnt hot gay ****.)
speaking of drinking... im off to a party with 2 fifths of capt mos! pictures tmro!!
|
|
|
Back to top
|
|
|
|
|
Xenden
RealPoor Sensei
Joined: 08 Jan 2003
Posts: 1532
|
|
Posted: 10/02/04 - 01:08 Post subject:
|
|
|
| Sabalo wrote: | i dont think drinking til you're blacked out and doin stupid shit to be very fun.. i can tank a fifth of capt mos easily and still hold my ground.. i dont like being THAT f****d up... i did that once and regret something i wish never happened. 9not it wasnt hot gay ****.)
speaking of drinking... im off to a party with 2 fifths of capt mos! pictures tmro!! |
Not fun at all. But I hadn't seen my best friends in so long, I had to do something man.
Now they can tell tall tales of David the Legendary Drunk.
|
|
|
Back to top
|
|
|
|
|
Spitulski
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 23 Nov 2002
Posts: 4344
Location: Washington
|
|
Posted: 10/02/04 - 01:15 Post subject:
|
|
|
|
Holy f**k.
|
|
|
Back to top
|
|
|
|
|
Guest
|
|
Posted: 10/02/04 - 01:20 Post subject:
|
|
|
I have better ones that involve car accidents, multiple whores, random violence, shooting guns in bars and thats just one night.
Quit while you are ahead, sounds like you have burned 8 of your nine lives.
|
|
|
Back to top
|
|
|
|
|
Xenden
RealPoor Sensei
Joined: 08 Jan 2003
Posts: 1532
|
|
Posted: 10/02/04 - 01:23 Post subject:
|
|
|
| Kbarr wrote: | I have better ones that involve car accidents, multiple whores, random violence, shooting guns in bars and thats just one night.
Quit while you are ahead, sounds like you have burned 8 of your nine lives. |
I will never ever drive drunk. I don't allow myself to be in situations where it is even a possibility. Whores? Um...
Shooting guns and stuff. Well this is socialist Caaanada. So I dunno!
|
|
|
Back to top
|
|
|
|
|
Tolanin
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 16 Oct 2002
Posts: 3551
|
|
Posted: 10/02/04 - 06:33 Post subject:
|
|
|
| Xenden wrote: | | Kbarr wrote: | I have better ones that involve car accidents, multiple whores, random violence, shooting guns in bars and thats just one night.
Quit while you are ahead, sounds like you have burned 8 of your nine lives. |
I will never ever drive drunk. I don't allow myself to be in situations where it is even a possibility. Whores? Um...
Shooting guns and stuff. Well this is socialist Caaanada. So I dunno! |
its not hard to go from walking naked through the hallways to driving, at that point ou have no f*****g control over what your doing,
I hope the next drinking story about you is postedby your grieving mother about how you got alcohol poisoning and died.
|
|
|
Back to top
|
|
|
|
|
Obmar
RealPoor Sensei
Joined: 22 Oct 2002
Posts: 1934
|
|
Posted: 10/02/04 - 06:34 Post subject:
|
|
|
The secret to drinking is to stop before you get to the point where you make a fool of yourself.
Much more fun to be catching a nice buzz and watching the other guy fall down.
Not to mention the fact that most women prefer the non-sloppy drunk to the f**k thats picking fights, stripping, and falling down.
moderation young man
|
|
|
Back to top
|
|
|
|
|
Desaitar
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 30 Apr 2003
Posts: 2641
Location: whore island
|
|
Posted: 10/02/04 - 07:00 Post subject:
|
|
|
|
rofl, nice story
|
|
|
Back to top
|
|
|
|
|
Kilzalot
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 21 Oct 2002
Posts: 2080
|
|
Posted: 10/02/04 - 07:32 Post subject:
|
|
|
|
I've generally been blessed with a trigger in my body that says... HEY a*****e!!! STOP f*****g DRINKING OR I WILL MAKE YOU PAY!!11... it's failed me only once or twice.
|
|
|
Back to top
|
|
|
|
|
Xarpolis
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 15 Oct 2002
Posts: 2884
Location: Philly, PA
|
|
Posted: 10/02/04 - 08:34 Post subject:
|
|
|
You got drunk and didn't bang her?
You know that's what she wanted, right?
|
|
|
Back to top
|
|
|
|
|
Xenden
RealPoor Sensei
Joined: 08 Jan 2003
Posts: 1532
|
|
Posted: 10/02/04 - 12:33 Post subject:
|
|
|
| Tolanin wrote: | | Xenden wrote: | | Kbarr wrote: | I have better ones that involve car accidents, multiple whores, random violence, shooting guns in bars and thats just one night.
Quit while you are ahead, sounds like you have burned 8 of your nine lives. |
I will never ever drive drunk. I don't allow myself to be in situations where it is even a possibility. Whores? Um...
Shooting guns and stuff. Well this is socialist Caaanada. So I dunno! |
its not hard to go from walking naked through the hallways to driving, at that point ou have no f*****g control over what your doing,
I hope the next drinking story about you is postedby your grieving mother about how you got alcohol poisoning and died. |
When I have no keys? Or how about if my car isn't even there?
Go suck on a moist c**k Tolanin.
EDIT: And besides, the f****n way the Rez buildings are set up I wouldnt have even been able to leave if i wanted to.
Last edited by Xenden on 10/02/04 - 13:58; edited 1 time in total
|
|
|
Back to top
|
|
|
|
|
Xenden
RealPoor Sensei
Joined: 08 Jan 2003
Posts: 1532
|
|
Posted: 10/02/04 - 12:34 Post subject:
|
|
|
| Obmar wrote: | The secret to drinking is to stop before you get to the point where you make a fool of yourself.
Much more fun to be catching a nice buzz and watching the other guy fall down.
Not to mention the fact that most women prefer the non-sloppy drunk to the f**k thats picking fights, stripping, and falling down.
moderation young man |
I'm well aware. I wasn't even close to sloppy drunk the third time.
|
|
|
Back to top
|
|
|
|
|
Goraz
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 3736
Location: Philadelphia
|
|
Posted: 10/02/04 - 13:20 Post subject:
|
|
|
I don't know whats a bigger waste, the alcohol that you drank or your life.
I think your life. Because the alcohol could have been used for something more productive, like cleaning out somones colon (notice I did not say yours).
Don't waste alcohol if you can't handle it you f*****g worthless t**t stain.
And not to mention we dont give a flying f**k about your pathetic escapdes of seeing whats next in line for you to do something more retarded than the previous.
|
|
|
Back to top
|
|
|
|
|
Occulis
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 13293
Location: Moral Relativity Central
|
|
Posted: 10/02/04 - 13:30 Post subject:
|
|
|
hahahaah
This one deserves to be in Island of Lol
|
|
|
Back to top
|
|
|
|
|
Roskoe
Can't Stop Posting
Joined: 12 Oct 2002
Posts: 651
Location: South Florida
|
|
Posted: 10/02/04 - 13:40 Post subject:
|
|
|
| Goraz wrote: |
I don't know whats a bigger waste, the alcohol that you drank or your life.
I think your life. Because the alcohol could have been used for something more productive, like cleaning out somones colon (notice I did not say yours).
Don't waste alcohol if you can't handle it you f*****g worthless t**t stain.
And not to mention we dont give a flying f**k about your pathetic escapdes of seeing whats next in line for you to do something more retarded than the previous. |
Seriously, you're one of the biggest faggots to come across this board. You constantly tryto put people down, but you're such a f*****g worthless c*m guzzling ass pirate that most of the time everyone ignores you. You keep coming back and try to portray this "internet a*****e/tough guy" thing but getting banned from EQ and stealing someones leet lootz does not make you mean or cool. Crawl back to the f*****g maggot pool you came from, stuff that d**k thats in your ass into your mouth, and die a slow f*****g death.
|
|
|
Back to top
|
|
|
|
|
Xenden
RealPoor Sensei
Joined: 08 Jan 2003
Posts: 1532
|
|
Posted: 10/02/04 - 13:52 Post subject:
|
|
|
| Goraz wrote: |
I don't know whats a bigger waste, the alcohol that you drank or your life.
I think your life. Because the alcohol could have been used for something more productive, like cleaning out somones colon (notice I did not say yours).
Don't waste alcohol if you can't handle it you f*****g worthless t**t stain.
And not to mention we dont give a flying f**k about your pathetic escapdes of seeing whats next in line for you to do something more retarded than the previous. |
I can handle the booze, you dumb f**k. Did I puke? No. Did I get hangovers these past 3 weeks? No. It's just the dumb shit I manage to do to myself while drunk, that is the problem.
Also, I wrote this drunk, and I don't give a f**k whether you want to read it or not. Same goes to anyone else. Did you miss the pre-emptive f**k you I tossed your way?
| Roskoe wrote: | | Seriously, you're one of the biggest faggots to come across this board. You constantly tryto put people down, but you're such a f*****g worthless c*m guzzling ass pirate that most of the time everyone ignores you. You keep coming back and try to portray this "internet a*****e/tough guy" thing but getting banned from EQ and stealing someones leet lootz does not make you mean or cool. Crawl back to the f*****g maggot pool you came from, stuff that d**k thats in your ass into your mouth, and die a slow f*****g death. |
This is how EVERYONE on this board thinks of you.
Proceed to the nearest ditch and/or rain puddle, fall face first down into it and lay there until you are dead.
|
|
|
Back to top
|
|
|
|
|
ATM Banana
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 02 Jan 2003
Posts: 8575
|
|
Posted: 10/02/04 - 14:02 Post subject:
|
|
|
damn buddy, sounds like you got as f****d up as my friend from back home did one night.
he ended up blacking out after drinking a bottle of vodka (the one with a handle) that was about 3.5X the size of his stomach... how he did it i'm not sure, but his friends do admit to the fact he did pretty much drink everything for himself and ended up being taken home by his (sober) friends.
He was hung over a rail on his front porch puking when his mom answered the door bell his friends had rung for him.
|
|
|
Back to top
|
|
|
|
|
euphonious
Toomuchtimeonhands
Joined: 03 Feb 2003
Posts: 893
|
|
Posted: 10/02/04 - 14:13 Post subject:
|
|
|
| Xenden wrote: | | Goraz wrote: |
I don't know whats a bigger waste, the alcohol that you drank or your life.
I think your life. Because the alcohol could have been used for something more productive, like cleaning out somones colon (notice I did not say yours).
Don't waste alcohol if you can't handle it you f*****g worthless t**t stain.
And not to mention we dont give a flying f**k about your pathetic escapdes of seeing whats next in line for you to do something more retarded than the previous. |
I can handle the booze, you dumb f**k. Did I puke? No. Did I get hangovers these past 3 weeks? No. It's just the dumb shit I manage to do to myself while drunk, that is the problem.
Also, I wrote this drunk, and I don't give a f**k whether you want to read it or not. Same goes to anyone else. Did you miss the pre-emptive f**k you I tossed your way?
| Roskoe wrote: | | Seriously, you're one of the biggest faggots to come across this board. You constantly tryto put people down, but you're such a f*****g worthless c*m guzzling ass pirate that most of the time everyone ignores you. You keep coming back and try to portray this "internet a*****e/tough guy" thing but getting banned from EQ and stealing someones leet lootz does not make you mean or cool. Crawl back to the f*****g maggot pool you came from, stuff that d**k thats in your ass into your mouth, and die a slow f*****g death. |
This is how EVERYONE on this board thinks of you.
Proceed to the nearest ditch and/or rain puddle, fall face first down into it and lay there until you are dead. |
A tad overly defensive there? Just a tad.
|
|
|
Back to top
|
|
|
|
|
Xenden
RealPoor Sensei
Joined: 08 Jan 2003
Posts: 1532
|
|
Posted: 10/02/04 - 14:20 Post subject:
|
|
|
| euphonious wrote: | | Xenden wrote: | | Goraz wrote: |
I don't know whats a bigger waste, the alcohol that you drank or your life.
I think your life. Because the alcohol could have been used for something more productive, like cleaning out somones colon (notice I did not say yours).
Don't waste alcohol if you can't handle it you f*****g worthless t**t stain.
And not to mention we dont give a flying f**k about your pathetic escapdes of seeing whats next in line for you to do something more retarded than the previous. |
I can handle the booze, you dumb f**k. Did I puke? No. Did I get hangovers these past 3 weeks? No. It's just the dumb shit I manage to do to myself while drunk, that is the problem.
Also, I wrote this drunk, and I don't give a f**k whether you want to read it or not. Same goes to anyone else. Did you miss the pre-emptive f**k you I tossed your way?
| Roskoe wrote: | | Seriously, you're one of the biggest faggots to come across this board. You constantly tryto put people down, but you're such a f*****g worthless c*m guzzling ass pirate that most of the time everyone ignores you. You keep coming back and try to portray this "internet a*****e/tough guy" thing but getting banned from EQ and stealing someones leet lootz does not make you mean or cool. Crawl back to the f*****g maggot pool you came from, stuff that d**k thats in your ass into your mouth, and die a slow f*****g death. |
This is how EVERYONE on this board thinks of you.
Proceed to the nearest ditch and/or rain puddle, fall face first down into it and lay there until you are dead. |
A tad overly defensive there? Just a tad. |
When dealing with Goraz, this is standard.
Not a tad anything.
|
|
|
Back to top
|
|
|
|
|
killswitch
Luke Warm
Joined: 09 Jun 2003
Posts: 325
|
|
Posted: 10/02/04 - 15:15 Post subject:
|
|
|
|
I've only drank to the point of black out once. It was on a trip with some buddies to Atlanta. Let's just leave it at that the morning after I needed a new wallet and that I will probably never stay at the Westin Atlanta again.
|
|
|
Back to top
|
|
|
|
|
Nictathan
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 5531
Location: here... where I am... not with you
|
|
Posted: 10/02/04 - 16:12 Post subject:
|
|
|
Never blacked out... come close but not fully.
My favorite story from being drunk is when my buddy, my gf, and I were sitting in our apt and we decided we needed to do laundry... so we went downstairs (laundry room under apt) and my friend and I tried to stuff my gf in the dryer...
|
|
|
Back to top
|
|
|
|
|
Sabalo
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 20 Oct 2002
Posts: 2162
Location: Olympia, Washington
|
|
Posted: 10/02/04 - 17:56 Post subject:
|
|
|
Speaking of this thread...
Last night was one big drunk blacked out night. That is all...
|
|
|
Back to top
|
|
|
|
|
Xenden
RealPoor Sensei
Joined: 08 Jan 2003
Posts: 1532
|
|
Posted: 10/02/04 - 18:24 Post subject:
|
|
|
| Sabalo wrote: | Speaking of this thread...
Last night was one big drunk blacked out night. That is all... |
Bravo sir. Bravo!
|
|
|
Back to top
|
|
|
|
|
Spitulski
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 23 Nov 2002
Posts: 4344
Location: Washington
|
|
Posted: 10/02/04 - 18:40 Post subject:
|
|
|
Hey, Goraz.
1. Speak for yourself. Everyone on this board is far more intelligent, eloquoent and has much more of a point than you do. You do NOT have the right to say shit like "we don't give" or "we don't think".
2. Your perception of alcohol's use is morbidly wrong. I think a fifth of vodka would be wasted if I drank it, but would be put to great use if you slammed the whole thing and fell off a balcony. Go put some alcohol to use, assplunger.
|
|
|
Back to top
|
|
|
|
|
Baha
Sir Postalot
Joined: 12 Oct 2002
Posts: 1214
|
|
Posted: 10/02/04 - 19:08 Post subject:
|
|
|
nice 1 spits
also, tolanin is very right, he gave you some good advice.. so go ahead and tell him to "suck a moist c**k", and make sure to tell your parents to post a notice on this site when you kill your dumb ass drinking to stupidity and ignoring the advice of others who know what they're talkin about
|
|
|
Back to top
|
|
|
|
|
Spitulski
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 23 Nov 2002
Posts: 4344
Location: Washington
|
|
Posted: 10/02/04 - 19:13 Post subject:
|
|
|
|
Yeah, I will admit three times in three weeks of doing remotely the same thing is a bit non-smart. The day the same kind of thing happened to me was the day I checked off 8 of the 9 and started working hard to preserve that last life. I suggest you do the same - ask issues, I speak from lots of experience. You think a f****d up knee is bad? I'm still suffering from far worse.
|
|
|
Back to top
|
|
|
|
|
Occulis
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 13293
Location: Moral Relativity Central
|
|
Posted: 10/02/04 - 19:30 Post subject:
|
|
|
As you well know, the first thing that goes with drinking is judgement. Long before balance or coordination or the ability to drive a car. Usually bad judgement leads to more drinking. 
|
|
|
Back to top
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
