Bible thumper asks god for help and receives it

INDIANAPOLIS — Traci Johnson believed it was God's plan for her to leave home to attend a tiny Bible college here — and she prayed every day for the Lord to provide for her tuition.

Then an unusual opportunity presented itself.

Eli Lilly & Co., the pharmaceutical giant headquartered a few miles from Indiana Bible College, was seeking healthy subjects for a live-in clinical drug trial. The 19-year-old freshman told her friends back home in Pennsylvania that the study was her best hope to stay in school.

"Trace, that don't sound right," her friend Colleen Jacoby told her. "I never heard of a human guinea pig."

But the students at the Bible college knew all about the trials. They made perfect subjects for studies requiring healthy people — and they were used often, receiving hundreds, even thousands of dollars for a few weeks work.

If accepted into the study, she could make $150 a day for 49 days — more than a year's worth of her school expenses — for taking a drug known as duloxetine, an antidepressant that had already been given to thousands of people and was on the verge of approval by the Food and Drug Administration (news - web sites).

She had faith that God would find a way. "It was in his hands," she wrote in her diary.

Just before the new semester, a Lilly representative called. Her prayers were answered.

A month later, she was dead.






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LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Megalo wrote:

Just before the new semester, a Lilly representative called. Her prayers were answered. A month later, she was dead.

The lord works in mysterious ways.

amen

lol

The good thing about using Bible College students as human guinea pigs is if they die, they probably go right to heaven anyway, so basically no harm done.

I test drugs for prac's institue, you average 200-300 a day. Also the drugs are all pre-FDA approved and they just test different types of pills absoprtion rates, you take 1 pill once every 2 weeks, for a total of 2 total doses, make between 1-5 grand. It is pure own.

are you serious? how do you sign up for these?

its a business here they advertise a lot in the area. Most studys take 2 weeks with you staying overnight 2-4 days. After 30 days you can screen for another study. As a college student. Spending 2 weekends there every other month I could pull in 6-10k yearly. That is a lot of money for what comes to 20-30 days of just sitting there watching movies. Its easy to schedule for weekends for class and jobs too so you can triple up.

Mugaaz wrote:

its a business here they advertise a lot in the area. Most studys take 2 weeks with you staying overnight 2-4 days. After 30 days you can screen for another study. As a college student. Spending 2 weekends there every other month I could pull in 6-10k yearly. That is a lot of money for what comes to 20-30 days of just sitting there watching movies. Its easy to schedule for weekends for class and jobs too so you can triple up.

Mutant X program!

I wonder what the odds are that one of these drugs might give you super powers. That would be pretty cool.

OMFG it was her "time" to "go". "God" wanted her to be "with" Him in "Heaven".

She must have special work to do there, like...um....mow a lawn I guess, or whatever they make you do there.

I prayed for the Lord to help me with my addiction to pornography. I have been amassing porno for almost ten years, and masturbated to it frequently. I figured this was the reason that I was single, and I asked the Lord to help me. Two days later, my hard drive died. At first I was very angry, and cursed his name, until I realized what he had done for me.

Fortunately, I was able to fool the Lord. I have watched so much pornography, that it is permanently etched into my memory. So, although there is no image of underage sex on the TV, it's all in my mind. I "fooled" him good, I tell you!

You know it's pretty sad when your wet dreams consist of you trying out new masturbation positions, instead of dreams of f*****g your hot wife.