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Luke Warm
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 229
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 Posted: 11/06/03 - 21:00 Post subject: Best Pickup Lines (Probably been done before, oh well)
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This has probably been done before, but I don't really care. After seeing a thread earlier today on the Something Awful forums, I figured I'd come here and share a few of the better ones with "all y'all." One stuck in particular as the best, and I've never heard one top it yet.
"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"
also...
"Fat penguins."
"..."
"I just thought I should say something that would break the ice."
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ATM Banana
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 02 Jan 2003
Posts: 8575
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Posted: 11/06/03 - 21:02 Post subject:
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hahaha, that second was WAS funny, but i think you should invest your time in baseball, sir.
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Paden
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 23 Oct 2002
Posts: 9362
Location: North CAROLINA!
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Posted: 11/06/03 - 21:12 Post subject:
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Girl you must be a speeding ticket because you got FINE all over you!
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GruntingCod
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 6399
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Posted: 11/06/03 - 21:13 Post subject:
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| Paden wrote: | | Girl you must be a speeding ticket because you got FINE all over you! |
...
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ATM Banana
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 02 Jan 2003
Posts: 8575
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Posted: 11/06/03 - 21:13 Post subject:
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gruntingcod takes offense to what you have said, repent paden, repent.
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Occulis
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 13293
Location: Moral Relativity Central
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Posted: 11/06/03 - 21:27 Post subject:
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I was present to witness a long-time friends first attempt at picking a girl up. It was pretty embarassing.
He went over to her table, asked her two friends to leave, and then proceeded to give her his entire life story. You could see her wincing and nodding at him as he never gave her a chance to talk. He was on the edge of his seat, leaning forward, talking really fast.
I remember hearing her say something like, "Well, uhm, phone numbers, gee I dunno we don't really even know each other."
Oh man.
Later, he refined his technique and had **** with two different women every week for about two years!
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Silvermouse
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 12 Oct 2002
Posts: 11015
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Posted: 11/06/03 - 21:53 Post subject:
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Later he died when the plague of 1666 swept through France. I know, I was there, drinking the blood of the dying. Yes yes, I was slumming, but times were tough.
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Docter
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 21 Oct 2002
Posts: 3420
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Posted: 11/06/03 - 22:00 Post subject:
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/drives wooden stake through Silvermouse's heart
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NinjaBurger
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 01 Sep 2003
Posts: 2800
Location: St. Louis
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Posted: 11/06/03 - 22:22 Post subject:
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Isn't he immune to that by now?
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Tamrissa
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 29 Nov 2002
Posts: 7100
Location: at my computer
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Posted: 11/07/03 - 14:35 Post subject:
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 my guess would be that was tp 
and sm ya crack me up, did you fix the lace cuff as you said that?
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scoresia
RealPoor Sensei
Joined: 10 Mar 2003
Posts: 1500
Location: Florida
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Posted: 11/07/03 - 16:11 Post subject:
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| Paden wrote: | | Girl you must be a speeding ticket because you got FINE all over you! |
............................................................................. NO, DENIED, GOODBYE
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Akronn
Guest
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Posted: 11/07/03 - 16:20 Post subject:
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We both know that I am going to follow you home anyway, so why don't you just come along peacefully?
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Banzai
Guest
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Posted: 11/07/03 - 16:24 Post subject:
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My best swoops have been right on the heels of someone else who just made a lame ass attempt at a pick up.
I position myself next to the mark who I know will inevitably get hit on and ignore her entirely. She will see me because I'm right next to her acting like I'm waiting for the bar tender to come by and I wait until my dupe comes in and tries too hard to impress her.
Once he goes away dejected, because that approached she most likely hears 20 times a day, I laugh and say without even looking toward her "That was just about the worst pick up I have ever seen. How many times has that one worked on you?" or some variation on the theme.
By then she is already broken down because we are sharing in a moment about how dumb the pick up scene is but all the while picking up on her. It's disarming and it sweeps right under the radar and is conversation magic.
The key is that you really can't care if she is interested in you or not and that you just want to laugh about what just happened. If she is a b***h to you then f**k her, when that happens my f**k you line is "Is it cold in here or is just you." Give her a second to respond and if she warms up it's on again. If she doesn’t no big loss, the girls a harpy and needs to hook up with an abusive ass hole.
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Goraz
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 3736
Location: Philadelphia
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Posted: 11/07/03 - 18:14 Post subject:
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there is no such thing as a best pickup line
they're all gay
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FireIsFun
Luke Warm
Joined: 19 Jan 2003
Posts: 329
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Posted: 11/07/03 - 19:21 Post subject:
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If I Told You I Was Jesus Would You Nail Me Three Times?
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Aeain
RealPoor Sensei
Joined: 22 Oct 2002
Posts: 1973
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Posted: 11/07/03 - 19:33 Post subject:
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Come sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up.
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Tamrissa
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 29 Nov 2002
Posts: 7100
Location: at my computer
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Posted: 11/07/03 - 19:37 Post subject:
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Hi!
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Gato
Can't Stop Posting
Joined: 13 Oct 2002
Posts: 706
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Posted: 11/07/03 - 20:11 Post subject:
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/Toss an handfull of popcorn kernels on a table filled with girls and yell..
"Suuuiiieee!!! Which one of you gals is commin home with me tonight?!?!?"
It works best if they are fat.. and if you are in a country bar..
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Brash
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 20 Oct 2002
Posts: 3958
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Posted: 11/08/03 - 03:50 Post subject:
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/smile works the best for me .
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TrueParadox
Sir Postalot
Joined: 10 Jul 2003
Posts: 1005
Location: No Place Interesting
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Posted: 11/08/03 - 08:47 Post subject:
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| sornlia wrote: | my guess would be that was tp
and sm ya crack me up, did you fix the lace cuff as you said that? |
Nope 
Wasn't me, least... .not that I remember. I don't use pickup lines, I generally just meet a gal, small talk starts, then when we are about ready to go our seperate ways, I hand her my phone number and tell her that if she would like to continue the conversation to give me a call.
I certainly have never told my life history to anyone to pick them up <chuckles> though I would like to know who it was... have my suspicions though
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FoShizzo
RealPoor Sensei
Joined: 18 Jan 2003
Posts: 1856
Location: Oly, Washington
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Posted: 11/08/03 - 15:14 Post subject:
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| Banzai wrote: | My best swoops have been right on the heels of someone else who just made a lame ass attempt at a pick up.
I position myself next to the mark who I know will inevitably get hit on and ignore her entirely. She will see me because I'm right next to her acting like I'm waiting for the bar tender to come by and I wait until my dupe comes in and tries too hard to impress her.
Once he goes away dejected, because that approached she most likely hears 20 times a day, I laugh and say without even looking toward her "That was just about the worst pick up I have ever seen. How many times has that one worked on you?" or some variation on the theme.
By then she is already broken down because we are sharing in a moment about how dumb the pick up scene is but all the while picking up on her. It's disarming and it sweeps right under the radar and is conversation magic.
The key is that you really can't care if she is interested in you or not and that you just want to laugh about what just happened. If she is a b***h to you then f**k her, when that happens my f**k you line is "Is it cold in here or is just you." Give her a second to respond and if she warms up it's on again. If she doesn’t no big loss, the girls a harpy and needs to hook up with an abusive ass hole. |
  man, u must get a lot of ladys...... that seems like it would work really well
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TrueParadox
Sir Postalot
Joined: 10 Jul 2003
Posts: 1005
Location: No Place Interesting
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Posted: 11/08/03 - 16:39 Post subject:
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| Banzai wrote: | My best swoops have been right on the heels of someone else who just made a lame ass attempt at a pick up.
I position myself next to the mark who I know will inevitably get hit on and ignore her entirely. She will see me because I'm right next to her acting like I'm waiting for the bar tender to come by and I wait until my dupe comes in and tries too hard to impress her.
Once he goes away dejected, because that approached she most likely hears 20 times a day, I laugh and say without even looking toward her "That was just about the worst pick up I have ever seen. How many times has that one worked on you?" or some variation on the theme.
By then she is already broken down because we are sharing in a moment about how dumb the pick up scene is but all the while picking up on her. It's disarming and it sweeps right under the radar and is conversation magic.
The key is that you really can't care if she is interested in you or not and that you just want to laugh about what just happened. If she is a b***h to you then f**k her, when that happens my f**k you line is "Is it cold in here or is just you." Give her a second to respond and if she warms up it's on again. If she doesn’t no big loss, the girls a harpy and needs to hook up with an abusive ass hole. |
<BOWS TO BANZ> Nice work there... very clever <noddles>
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Brash
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 20 Oct 2002
Posts: 3958
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Posted: 11/08/03 - 16:44 Post subject:
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| FoShizzo wrote: | | Banzai wrote: | My best swoops have been right on the heels of someone else who just made a lame ass attempt at a pick up.
I position myself next to the mark who I know will inevitably get hit on and ignore her entirely. She will see me because I'm right next to her acting like I'm waiting for the bar tender to come by and I wait until my dupe comes in and tries too hard to impress her.
Once he goes away dejected, because that approached she most likely hears 20 times a day, I laugh and say without even looking toward her "That was just about the worst pick up I have ever seen. How many times has that one worked on you?" or some variation on the theme.
By then she is already broken down because we are sharing in a moment about how dumb the pick up scene is but all the while picking up on her. It's disarming and it sweeps right under the radar and is conversation magic.
The key is that you really can't care if she is interested in you or not and that you just want to laugh about what just happened. If she is a b***h to you then f**k her, when that happens my f**k you line is "Is it cold in here or is just you." Give her a second to respond and if she warms up it's on again. If she doesn’t no big loss, the girls a harpy and needs to hook up with an abusive ass hole. |
man, u must get a lot of ladys...... that seems like it would work really well |
really depends on how long it takes for someone ti try a line on her ...
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Brash
RealPoor Guru
Joined: 20 Oct 2002
Posts: 3958
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Posted: 11/08/03 - 16:46 Post subject:
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ya know i don't think i have ever heard someone use pne of these stupid lines or anything like it . Only time i have ever heard one is when ya joke about it with your friends .
Don't think i could ever force myself to use a "line" and more to the point , if the line worked i wouldn't want the stupid b***h it worked on anyways.
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TrueParadox
Sir Postalot
Joined: 10 Jul 2003
Posts: 1005
Location: No Place Interesting
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Posted: 11/08/03 - 17:11 Post subject:
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I have used a pickup line once... on a bet... I couldn't get ou tthe full pickup line because Iw as laughing too much... well the chick was ammused at my laughter... and by the end she was giggling right along with me. I finally said " OMG... I have got to stop this... feel free to slap me now, that's the worst pickup line EVER". She laughed and asked me to sit a while, I seemed like a nice enough guy and we ended up going out.
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Nictathan
RealPoor Master of Posts
Joined: 11 Oct 2002
Posts: 5531
Location: here... where I am... not with you
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Posted: 11/08/03 - 21:06 Post subject:
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Let's go behind this rock and get a little bolder
I know you're not a virgin but can I play with the box it came in?
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Guest
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Posted: 11/09/03 - 02:39 Post subject:
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| Banzai wrote: | My best swoops have been right on the heels of someone else who just made a lame ass attempt at a pick up.
I position myself next to the mark who I know will inevitably get hit on and ignore her entirely. She will see me because I'm right next to her acting like I'm waiting for the bar tender to come by and I wait until my dupe comes in and tries too hard to impress her.
Once he goes away dejected, because that approached she most likely hears 20 times a day, I laugh and say without even looking toward her "That was just about the worst pick up I have ever seen. How many times has that one worked on you?" or some variation on the theme.
By then she is already broken down because we are sharing in a moment about how dumb the pick up scene is but all the while picking up on her. It's disarming and it sweeps right under the radar and is conversation magic.
The key is that you really can't care if she is interested in you or not and that you just want to laugh about what just happened. If she is a b***h to you then f**k her, when that happens my f**k you line is "Is it cold in here or is just you." Give her a second to respond and if she warms up it's on again. If she doesn’t no big loss, the girls a harpy and needs to hook up with an abusive ass hole. |
A few of my friends and I would use a similar tactic. Except the guy making the first pass was a married friend of ours who liked to play the game and wasn't interested in side action:) We would wait till he was hammered then aim him at a piece of ass. After he spent about 10 painful minutes doing his smiling drunk act, making her squirm, one of us would go over to save her. We would peel him off her, offer apologies and let slip we were all cops.
It works most of the time:)
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Silvermouse
RealPoor Jedi
Joined: 12 Oct 2002
Posts: 11015
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Posted: 11/09/03 - 12:57 Post subject:
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My buddy is from Greece, and I told him to pretend that he spoke very little English. I'm banking that girls like foreign guys who seem innocent and honest. Here is the plan!
Him:(thick accent)"En my cowntry, there no es such theeng as, how do you say, one night date?"
Me: "One night stand."
Him: "Ah yes! One night stand. There es no theeng like that, only love between people, and all love es a beauteeful theeng, even eef thee love es only for one night or for forty year!"
Obviously, the goal is to get her to set aside any inhibitions she may have towards casual **** and come home with him, but if that fails we'll just do the old "break beer bottle over chick's head, drag to back seat of Geo Storm" trick
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Manuva
Banned
Joined: 12 Oct 2002
Posts: 2536
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Posted: 11/09/03 - 13:15 Post subject:
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So your friend busts out the DeMarco lines eh?
I don't think I've ever used a line, I just kind of chill at the bar watching the game (I only go to sports bars), if I see a girl looking I'll either do the "half wave slight smile" thing, or if she's drinking I'll order her a drink. Within 5 minutes she'll be sitting by me.
Or sometimes I'll send my wingman to take one for the team.
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lodie
Luke Warm
Joined: 05 Nov 2002
Posts: 376
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Posted: 11/09/03 - 17:11 Post subject:
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| FireIsFun wrote: | | If I Told You I Was Jesus Would You Nail Me Three Times? |
this is amazing
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